Trying To Get Past It, Moving Into The Light Of Day

I've been in such a funk, an actual depression, since the passing of Derek Boogaard.  I'm finding out that a few others have been feeling the same way.  I think we're acknowledging the loss of a good soul, not so much the sports figure.  Not that Derek didn't fight tooth and nail, pun kinda intended, to get to the NHL.  He did everything his coaches and GM's ever asked him to do in order to gain entry level and then earn that permanent roster spot.  But what's been eating at me, and others I've talked with this week, is the loss of a truly good human being.  I finally figured out what was the saddest realization for me in processing Derek's untimely passing due to his addictions.  It took some digging around the Strib web site and help from Michael Russo but he found an article from the Pioneer Press that contained the quote I've had running through my brain since last week. 

Excerpt from the St. Paul Pioneer Press (Minnesota), March 2, 2007 Friday

Boogaard makes big impact; Enforcer hits hard, turns other cheek
BYLINE: JOHN SHIPLEY, Pioneer PressEDMONTON, Alberta — Derek Boogaard played only 5 minutes, 40 seconds Thursday night. But, oh, what an effective few shifts. The Wild'shandedly took the Edmonton Oilers out of the game.

Because the Oilers were so intent on taking him out.

"Boogey was disciplined," teammate Branko Radivojevic said. "We profited from that."

Boogaard was the center of two melees that netted the Oilers 20 minutes of penalties in Minnesota's 5-0 victory at Rexall Place. The first gave Minnesota a two-man advantage for five minutes, which the Wild turned into a goal for a 2-0 lead at 16:13 of the first period.

After Boogaard leveled center Marty Reasoner with a wicked check behind the Oilers' goal, wing Raffi Torres charged at him hard, but Boogaard held his ground and knocked Torres backward.

When he regained his balance, Torres got in Boogaard's face and was soon joined by defenseman Steve Staios, who threw a punch at Boogaard and started a melee. Boogaard was jumped by those two, then Zack Stortini. Boogaard received a 10-minute misconduct but never threw a punch.

"You just bite your lip as hard as you can and try to find a happy place," he explained.

Torres and Staios later wound up in the box after roughing Boogaard up in the third period.

"It means I'm doing my job," he said. "It's never a bad thing when everyone's screaming and yelling at you."

Find a happy place - that's been bubbling up into my thoughts all week.

  

Yes, Derek did his job on the ice, brutally well.  Obvioulsy, at some point his injuries started to mount and his body was screaming at him to recognize he needed to be done serving the NHL's best interests.  I think it's safe to say that Derek was battling with this thought long before he left the Wild to join the Rangers.  Bless that privacy policy of the NHLPA/NHL for substance/mental health treatment - which we can discuss at a later date.  I'm sure having to face the reality that his body wasn't going to serve him for more than a few good years was crushing.  He had worked so hard to get there.  But what Derek failed to realize is that his best years were still ahead of him - being one of the greatest ambassadors of the game in our time.  His loyalty and dedication to the sport and it's charities would have been a legacy in the making.  He lost sight of that trying to blindly battle through the physical pain with substances that numbed his brain as well.       

Instead, we're left with that empty crater where Derek used to be.  I just keep thinking:     

All that strength of character and soul, yet no happy place for Derek to find what he needed to overcome his demons.

And The Hockey Gods Said "Let There Be Hockey, Dee"

For the first time since Friday, May 13th I found myself revved up for a hockey game.  Boy, those Bruins and Lightning did not disappoint!  I was on the edge of my seat for the whole game and I'm pretty sure I peed myself a couple of times.  Fast, fast, fast hockey at both ends of the rink with big drives and mind blowing saves.  I was a little peeved about not having Roli in net tonight but heck, I'm used to the tandem goalie routine so I get that you ride your hot netminder and that's Smith for now.  It's not his fault the Bruins won this one and we're going to game six.  This was a battle-every-shift kind of game and Boston just got lucky.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  

The Sharks are pissing my off and just plain old falling apart in their series with the Canucks.  Stupid Canucks are ahead 3-1 in this series and they were supposed to be golfing by now, according my picks.  Not that the Sharks can't come back to win the next 3 games, but I saw the replay of game 4 and it wasn't pretty for San Jose.  They'd better find more than Nemo if they want to get this series back and move on to the cup final.  Tuesday night's game will be interesting. 

Houston, We Have A Problem

After having jumped out to a 3-0 series lead our Houston Aeros find themselves having to play in a game seven.  Can you say "pissing it all away"?  Very frustrating to see the guys going through this but something tells me Tuesday night is their night.  Be sure you're following along with all of the great coverage at T3I cuz these folks really tell it like it is and write the way I love to hear (read) it.  Also, make sure you keep up with the witty MsConduct and her tales of goaltending.  She's worth following on Twitter...except that she's a Blue Jays fan...but we've all got our quirks, don't we?

Hey - let's talk some baseball this week, huh?  I've had a couple of thoughts rattling around on our Twins so let's see if I can get Connie riled up ;)  Talk to ya later, peeps!!  

In honor of my main man, Big Jim!  Hell of a return to the lineup Monday night!

Rain and Tears

Rain fell today.  First, as a gentle sprinkling and then more steadily as I listened to Harmon Killebrew's funeral service.  From family to friends to peers; testament after testament was given about what a genuinely beautiful human being he was.  Beyond being an great athlete (in the days before dietary & exercise training programs, or steroids), he was a true and loyal friend, a devoted husband and father and an upstanding member of every community he lived in during his long life.  Story after story touched on a man who never used his celebrity status for his own comfort or benefit.  Harmon always felt compelled to sign every last autograph and stand for every last picture request.  He was humbled by the thought that someone made the trip just to see him and he couldn't bear the thought of disappointing them for having made that effort.  He understood what it meant to be a role model, right to the very end.  His legacy will live on forever thanks to his tireless support of baseball, his family and friends and his charity work.  It was very uplifting to hear and a beautiful way to remember a Minnesota Icon forever.   

Finally, the clouds let loose with a downpour that felt both harsh and cleansing at the same time.  For the rest of the day I couldn't tell the difference between the rain and my tears.  
The coroner's report on Derek Boogaard's death last week was published; an accidental overdose of oxycodone and alcohol.  As the Boogaard family statement advises, "After repeated courageous attempts at rehabilitation and with the full support of the New York Rangers, the NHLPA, and the NHL, Derek had been showing tremendous improvement but was ultimately unable to beat this opponent.  While he played and lived with pain for many years, his passion for the game, his teammates, and his community work was unstoppable." 

I'm full of tears and questions, mostly hot, scorching angry ones right now.  Who mixes Oxy with booze and doesn't know the very real potential side effect is death?  But let's get one thing out there:  Addiction is a bitch.  It's very real.  It gets control of the very center of your soul.  It doesn't care that you're a 6' 7" enforcer on a hockey team trying to make the most of living your dream life.  It doesn't care that you've got your whole life ahead of you or that you only want the very best for everyone around you.  I am not saying that Derek isn't responsible for his actions leading up to his tragic death.  Only Derek made that fateful decision on Friday, March 13, 2011.  For now, I'm just so sorry for the Boogaard family's loss, especially in this day and age of instant public address systems.  I have to believe it's going to make getting through Derek's funeral tomorrow even more difficult.  I'm sure they are struggling with more what-ifs than the rest of us can even imagine.  I'm going to choose to focus on the years of loyalty and dedication Derek gave to the Minnesota Wild and us fans.  I'm going to remember his charity work and his tireless efforts to be known as more than just a brute on blades. 

But in the back of my head there's a buzzing, nagging question that stems from "While he played and lived with pain for many years..."  


And as if there wasn't sadness to go around these days - Clayton Stoner lost his brother Luke on May 6th in a logging accident while working near Port Alice, Brithis Columbia.  Luke Stoner, 30, lived with his wife, Carolann, and son, Kade, in Port McNeill, British Columbia. Carolann is pregnant with the couple's second child.     

NHL Conference Championship hockey games are being played this week.  The Calder Cup will go to game six.  For tonight, I don't have it in me to care about it.  The rain has stopped and I'm content to be comforted by the smell of wet earth and the promise of summer blooms.         

Derek Boogard Passed Away

Stunned, shocked, surprised, saddened...there aren't enough words to express the feelings when you get the news of a sudden passing.  When it's a young athlete it's sometimes even harder to take in.  Derek Boogaard, former Minnesota Wild player, was found dead at his Minneapolis residence on Friday, March 13, 2011.  He was 28 years old and it is astounding to think, at that young age, he's no longer with us.  Details are not really known or are just not being immediately released as I'm writing this.  It's been reported by Russo that Derek was found by family members, perhaps his brothers who were visiting with Derek this week.  I don't necessarily need the details just yet and maybe it's best to simply remember Derek for what he meant to the Wild and what the Wild meant to him during his tenure with our franchise.  
For a player who couldn't stick handle or skate for shit he sold more jersies than Gaborik ever did.  For a player who's main purpose on this team was to protect Gaborik (and any of his other teammates) he was adored more than Gaborik ever was.  Derek knew he was never going to be the next Crosby or Ovechkin.  Derek knew he was lucky to be in the NHL at all, given that Enforcers were being phased out in an attempt to bring more speed and skill to the game.  Derek knew his 4 minutes, or less, of ice time weren't the minutes of an NHL legend in the making.  Here is what Derek will be remembered for - and rightly so:
  

This just happens to be my favorite Boogie Moment but there are a ton of them to be found on YouTube and at hockeyfights.com and at wildenforcers.com. 

Derek also understood being blessed in life and he gave generously of his time and money to help numerous charities both here in Minnesota and in New York as well as in his hometown: Defending The Blueline, Garden Of Dreams Foundation.    

He had a great sense of humor which can be seen in his commercials:




Or this little ditty from FSN back in 2006 with a very young Brent Burns doing the interview. 

Derek was a great big teddy bear of a guy who, for his enormous size and stature on skates, looked remarkably unassuming (for a 6' 7" giant of a man) in street clothes and wire rimmed glasses.  He was after all, just a regular guy who got to recognize his childhood dream of playing hockey in the NHL.  

I've posted some pictures of Derek on the Through The Lens tab at the top of this page.  I hope they make you smile and remember the Boogie Man fondly.             

 

Hockey Humor, Playoff Update

Hockey Humor
Let's start the work week off with a chuckle.  Some of the funnier things I've come across during the playoffs so far. 

• Tampa Bay fan outwits his homeowner's association rules and the nosey neighbor bitch with too much time on her hands...and probably a dozen cats nobody knows about. 

• Puck Daddy (Greg Wysyinski) and the team of writers who cover the NHL for Yahoo! Sports do a great job, pretty much.  Justin Bourne is one of my favorites.  Ryan Lambert, on the other hand is one of the writers I am not a huge fan of because he typically doesn’t have many facts to back up his caustic writing.  He is very much an emotional writer and it’s a shame that it gets in the way of some significant pieces he’s put out there.  Now, there’s nothing wrong with emotional writing from the standpoint of getting people riled up and talking about your subject matter.  When anyone takes the time to write out their thoughts and share them with the public they better be prepared for feedback – good or bad.  Ryan appears to be thick-skinned enough to get through each week of being, in turn, completely reviled for his idiocy or totally adored for being right on the money.  Here’s his latest take on the Washington Capital’s early elimination and how Tampa Bay has managed to make it this far.  In this one article he has managed to pull off being: 1. A Caps Apologist Homer Extraordinaire, 2. A Bitter Tampa Bay Basher, and 3. An NHL sportswriter who understands that the players are ultimately responsible for winning/losing games, not one coach…typically. 

• This is why I am known as Evil Dee to many of my closest friends: I find this article extremely funny…MWUUHAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA.  

Preds vs Canucks: Canucks 3-2 Series
What a spectacular finish to game 5 for the Preds.  It started off upbeat with a Nashville goal just 3 minutes in.  Then the Canucks took control of the first period with 2 unanswered goals and it felt icky.  The Preds came out in the second period and played Predators Hockey.  You Minnesota Wild fans know all about that - we called it called Jacques Lemaire Hockey for 8 years.  The Canucks never had a chance after that, watching as the Preds tied the game and then scored two more goals to put the game away.  Former Minnesota Wild player, Joel Ward, was the hero and first star of the game with two goals in the third period to seal the deal and send the team to game 6 Monday night.

Wings vs Sharks: Sharks 3-2 Series
You knew the Wings weren't out of it so it was no surprise they came back strong in game 4 and let the Sharks know they weren't getting out of this without a battle.  Game five was brutal and the refs really had their work cut out for them.  Penalites, real and faked, along with scrums and shouting matches that went on even after the final buzzer kept things lively throughout the game.  The Sharks drew first blood in the second period and one would think after they went up 3-1 in the third this one was all but over.  But this is the Wings we're talking about so they tied it up to make a game of it.  And then they went ahead by one on their third unanswered goal at the six minute mark.  It was one of the sickest screened goals I've ever seen.  The Sharks tried to battle back but this is where the Wings shine - when it really counts.  Game six is Tuesday night.          

Bruins vs Flyers: Bruins 4-0 Sweep of the Flyers
The stinky Flyers are out of the playoffs - neener, neener, neener!  Game 4 was an authoritative smack on the butts of the Flyers: Not This Year.  The Bruins are now set to meet the Tampa Bay Lightning in the Eastern Conference Final. 

Aeros vs Admirals
In an up and down series for round two it's going to game seven to see who moves on.  The Aeros need to find their place of zen and peace and just play their game on Tuesday night in Milwaukee. 

Brooming, Still Battling, Left Bewildered

Preds vs Canucks: Canucks 3-1 Series     
Wings vs Sharks: Sharks 3-0 series    Game 4 Fri night

Lightning vs Capitals: Bolts Swept the Caps in Four Games
Bruins vs Flyers: Bruins 3-0 series     Game 4 Fri night

Tampa Bay Reaches Eastern Conference Finals
All Aboard!!  The Bolts Bandwagon is now leaving for the Eastern Conference Finals.  Game four was the nail in the coffin for the Caps and while the Lightning were happy about getting through to the next level they know they haven't won anything worth celebrating yet.  There are eight more wins to rack up before they can really get happy.  It's looking good for the Bolts, to be sure.  They're on a seven game winning streak.  The apparently ageless Roli The Goalie is making monster saves in their net.  The forwards and defensemen are one united front on the ice, regardless of line changes or how many periods they have to play.  It's all working...for now.  It's hard not to get on board for the Lightning, especially when I'm essentially cheering for a partial Wild team: Roloson, Bergeron, Hall, Moore.  
The Lightning are the first team to arrive at the conference finals and they're waiting to see if they'll meet up with Bruins or the Flyers.

Bruins/Flyers - It took all of 63 seconds in Game 3 before the Flyers once again failed to support their goalie.  As much as I hate the Flyers I can totally relate to them having spent the last season watching my own team do the same thing to Backstrom, Harding and Theodore.  Bruins David Krejci the second goal of the game on the Flyers goalie, Brian Boucher, giving Boston the 2-0 lead just 1:03 mark.  You know it's going to be a bad night at the arena when your coach has to call a timeout at the 63 second mark of the game.  Ultimately the timeout and the pep talk with Boucher didn't help because the Flyers lost the game 5-1.    

Preds/Canucks - In game 3 the Canucks found a way to skate around the 'defensive straightjacket that is the Nashville Predators.'  That's a quote from John Manasso, NHL.com Correspondent.  Well, it's not like the Canucks scored freely on the Preds, the game was tied 2-2 after regulation and had to go to overtime to decide it.  I'd like to remind John Manasso that once again the Canucks choked on a 2-1 lead in the third period and Luongo gave up the goal that sent them to overtime.  It then took the Canucks half way through the OT to score the winning goal.  Again, it's not like Vancouver just ran all over and all around the Preds to come away with a resounding win.
Game 4 Thursday night was a fairly resounding win for Vancouver and now I'm just pissed off at the Preds.  C'mon Nashville - find your game and get the job done.  Don't make me go back to believing you guys don't belong in the NHL.  Like I told Vicki - I'd rather watch Disney On Ice than see the Canucks go any further in the playoffs. 

  
More Questions Than Answers 
Washington had yet another successful regular season then crapped out in the early rounds of the playoffs.  They didn't roll over or give up during their short stay but they're still left pondering WTF do they have to do to get to the Cup Final?  "I don't think we weren't hungry. We were hungry," Caps captain Alex Ovechkin said. "We just didn't win. We want to win. They want to win. Somebody has to lose. We are losing and I don't know what to say right now."  You know, the Caps did work on changing their game this last season to a more defensively responsible way of playing.  They did that while still taking the top seed into the playoffs and still got to the second round.  Boy, sure wish I had a home team that could find a way to do that...  Anyway, I'm sure that's no comfort to the Caps organization, the players or their fans - wait, how is that any different than how I feel about the Wild?  Oh, yeah - my team stank it up big time while pouting about having to change their playing style and then finished short of dead last in the regular season, letting the head coach take the fall for their childish behavior.  
Bitter, table for 1...

Houston Aeros Tie The Series In Round Two of  Calder Cup Run 
Game 4 at the Toyota Center Thursday: Aeros took the lead in the first, played an UGLY 2^nd period by letting the Admirals outshoot them and tie the game.  They took it to overtime and McMillan roofs a shot for the win – whew!  Series tied up and game 5 is Friday night.    

Favorite tweet from the Aeros game Thursday night:   “Matt. Hackett. Is. KILLING ME with his going behind the net failiness. KILLINGMEEEEEEEE.”  That’s the work of MsConduct, in case you couldn’t tell ;) 

Followed by “Backs always gets too far from the crease too, makes me nervous.” From one of her many followers.  (Gee, funny how other people feel the same way that Vicki and I do about Backstrom's goaltending this last season).  Sign at Aeros game: SIDE 1: Stay Hackett, stay. Good goalie. SIDE 2: Bad Goalie.  
 

Parent Alert – Parent Alert – Parent Alert! 

Please view the following video before letting the kidlets in.  Folks probably don’t want to open this at work unless you’re in an office with a closed door.  It’s not porn, but I think it would be questionable in terms of what’s appropriate for the work place.   

For Robyn and the rest of the birthday celebration gang here’s the info on the glow in the dark condom movie I was talking about.  John Ritter starred in the movie Skin Deep.  I highly recommend renting this movie as it offers up one belly laugh after another.  Sadly, John Ritter is no longer with us but films like this one that capture his true gift for physical comedy for all of the coming generations. 

Oh, and just in case you're heading to youtube to see the other trailers for the movie - be sure to type in John Ritter Skin Deep.  I'm not responsible for the movies named Skin Deep without John Ritter that will come up otherwise. 

Round Two - Ghosts Of Wild Past and Celebrating 1961

Preds vs Canucks: Canucks 2-1 Series Lead   Game 4 is Thur night 
Wings vs Sharks: Sharks 2-0 series   Game 3 is Wed night

Lightning vs Capitals: Bolts 3-0 series   Game 4 is Wed night
Bruins vs Flyers: Bruins 2-0 series   Game 3 is Wed night



Preds/Canucks:  I really enjoyed watching game three and it should be very clear to a seasoned Minnesota Wild fan why. Old habits die hard - Barry Trotz coaches the same style of hockey as Jacques Lemaire.  Defense first, forcing the opponent to make a mistake and then take off to the offensive zone.  I do think it's wrong to have an NHL team in a state where the Grand Ole Opry and NASCAR are next to Godliness.  I have to give credit where it's due though and that's to the Predator's fans.  Listening to them screaming at Mike Fisher to move the puck up the ice and for Martin Erat to shoot the puck lets me know that there's hope for southern fried hockey after all.  
This game was an up/down, back and forth.  The Canucks struck first, then the Preds tied it up and followed that by going up one goal.  The Canucks answered back to tie the game and then went up a goal over the Preds.  Late in the third period the Preds tied it up yet again and it's a former Wild player, Joel Ward who gets the goal.  For the 19th time in the 2011 playoffs a game goes into overtime.  I don't know how these guys are doing it game in and game out.  Overtime was a battle to the bitter end, and it was bitter for the Preds - giving up the powerplay goal to the Canucks on a craptastic call by the refs.  Turnovers and Penalties will do the Preds in so they've got to regroup and stay with their game.  Take it from a Jacques Lemaire fan - it works.  Game 4 is Thursday night.     

Caps/Bolts: Game three just about sent me into cardiac arrest on a number of levels.  The Bolts scored in the first period, assist to former Wild player Dominic Moore, and held tight until half way through the second period when the Caps scored two goals.  Tampa scored to even up the game but the Caps came back with a powerplay goal by my boyfriend to take the lead back going into the second intermission.  The Lightning scored two goals within 24 seconds early in the third period and for a change this post season - the game ended in regulation with the Bolts going up 3-0 in the series.  Game 4, possibly the end of the road for the Caps, is Wednesday night and you'll need the Center Ice or NHL Network channel to catch it.  Versus is showing the Bruins/Flyers game.  
Jumping Ship - Every time Washington scored I was jubilant.  But then the Lightning would score and I found myself cheering louder before I could stop.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I'm just about fully on board the Ning Dynasty Train.  I mean, who wouldn't be?  This is the 'who are these guys?' team of this playoff season and they're proving to be more than a fluke. My heart is with Roli, the former Wild goalie who played so well in tandem with the likes of Manny Fernandez and Niklas Backstrom.  Then there's Adam Hall, former Wild player, who is so prominent on the ice that he gets praised by the tv analysts and color guys just about every shift he skates.  

Bruins/Flyers: I thought game two was going to be the James van Riemsdyk show when he scored two goals in the first period but the Bruins got their game on by scoring twice themselves before the period ended.  There were more penalties than goals in the first and both teams came out in the second much more disciplined.  It was a goalie's game from that point on but the Flyers were changing their netminders out like they were spark plugs.  Brian Boucher left in the second period when he injured his left hand on a save.  Bobrovsky, or Bob as we like to call him, stood tall for the rest of the period and Boucher was back on duty for the third period.  Of course we needed overtime to settle this game and I was riding the Bruins something fierce.  I did the happy hockey dance when David Krejci scored six minutes in to send the Flyers down the tunnel hanging their heads.  Game 3 is Wednesday night on Versus - early.

Aeros Update: Game three is Thursday night at the Toyota Center in Houston.  Please do entertain yourselves with the great writing and pictures shared on T3I, the blog dedicated to our farm babies.  

Celebrating 1961 

JFK is sworn in as the 35th President Of The United States.  George Clooney is born.  The US launches a chimp into space and tests the first MinuteMan missile.  The Russians send the first human into space.  Diana, Princess of Wales, is born.  Construction of the Berlin Wall begins.  The Bay of Pigs Invasion began and failed all within 48 hours.  The Viet Nam War officially begins.  The comic Fantastic Four and the book Catch 22 are published.  Barbie gets a boyfriend - Ken is born.  The Beatles perform at the Cavern Club and Elvis Presley raises $62,000.00 for the U.S.S. Arizona memorial fund by performing a benefit show in Hawaii.  Wayne Gretzky and Mark Messier are born.  Bob Dylan is discovered by Columbia Records through a music critic's review in the NY Times.
 
Movies: West Side Story, 101 Dalmations, The Guns of Navarone, Breakfast at Tiffany's and The Hustler.   
TV Shows: Mr. Ed debuted in 1961 and popluar shows included Bonanza, Gunsmoke, Perry Mason, The Red Skelton Show, Candid Camera and The Twilight zone.    

• The Minnesota Twins finished with a record of 70-90, seventh in the AL.  This was the franchise's first season in Minnesota after 60 seasons in Washington D.C. The Twins played in the Metropolitan Stadium...waaay before the Metrodome or Target Field.

• The Minnesota Vikings played their first season as an expansion franchise with a record of 3 - 11.  They were coached by Norm Van Brocklin.  Fran Tarkenton was the rookie quarterback. 

• The St. Paul Saints, also known as the Fighting Saints were a minor league hockey team in the IHL from 1959 to 1963.  The team was based in St. Paul and played at the St. Paul Auditorium.  They won the Turner Cup for the second consecutive year in 1961.  

On May 4, 1961 my dear friend Robyn was born breech and so it is we're celebrating her 50th birthday on this fine day.  Robyn is the first of a group of us gal pals turning the big FIVE OH this year and I expect she'll show us the way in style.  And if not in style, it will certainly be with good cheer and a big dose of WOO-HOO!  That's how we old bags roll, always have.  She's one of the Three Stooges, she's a best friend since grade school, she's a co-worker turned BFF&E.  She's everything you could ask for in a friend and sister.
 
So everybody join me in wishing Robyn a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY today!!


See you tonight, girlfriend!!