Evil Dee's Daycare - Letting Your Kids Run Amok While You're Away
Every now and then I answer the call of a friend in need when daycare issues come up. Of course these friends know up front that I'm not a licensed provider and therefore will not be spending the day working flash cards for math, spelling and foreign languages with their little angels. I'm a 'live in the moment' kind of daycare provider. That means if somebody wears her shorts backwards all day then so be it. She got dressed all by herself and we celebrated how big she is. If somebody else happens to eat a dandelion while exploring in the backyard then he's got a head start on his veggie intake for the day. Besides, I'm long gone by the time mom discovers that recycled dandelion in Junior's diaper.
This week I have the pleasure of spending time with a beautiful ALMOST 4 year old girl and her cherub-cheeked 1 year old brother - who has just recently become VERY upwardly mobile. You know the stage: teetering on the brink of disaster with each jerky step as he makes his way through the scattered land mines (every imaginable toy and their parts, and one of the biggest, softest teddy bears I've ever seen). Your heart is pounding and your muscles are tensed, waiting to jump into rescue mode. But then you look at that face and the sheer joy expressed there and you know it's worth any hightened sense of anxiety over the bumps or bruises that he'll experience in the coming months.
My job with Maisy and Andy is considerable easier thanks to the swimming pools and swing set in the backyard. Maisy is addicted to the water, as witnessed by her lightening-fast change into her swimsuit after mom leaves - at 7:15 a.m. The sun isn't even shining in the backyard yet. So we swing for awhile, have a little snack and then slather on the sunscreen in preparation for pool time. This is such a hard gig for me...outside with 2 kids who are addicted to the sun and water. I chase after errant beach balls and make sure Andy doesn't do a faceplant in his little pool. We take in a puppet show at the local park and then walk around to watch the bigger kids practicing soccer and baseball. I figure all that fresh air and exercise is gonna mean tuckered out kids.
Of course, we all know who's completely exhausted at the end of the day - me! I've clearly found the best of nature's sleep aids...children under the age of six. It's not just a physical tired either, there's the mental challenges of kids being sooo smart at younger ages these days. You can't get away with just saying 'because that's the way it is'. Not when they're using Leapster applications on the computer. It's an all day effort to make sure I stay up to their speed! Yet, as I'm driving home each night, smelling of baby shampoo and sunscreen and pulling semi-soggy goldfish crackers out of my hair I have to admit: I wouldn't have missed the opportunity for anything in the world. I'm pretty sure Heather was banking on that when she asked me to stay with her kids. She knows me too well when it comes to her kidlets - I love to love 'em.
Now that the week is over I'm reminded why I don't have kids. Because you can't put them in a kennel and leave them alone for 10 hours. Seriously, for me it's just about being the fun 'auntie', then handing the little buggers back to their parents at the end of the day. There's fresh pineapple waiting to be blended with Patron in a giant pitcher of margaritas in my kitchen. There's a thick ribeye steak marinating in the fridge. And as the squeals, giggles and screams of delighted kids fades from my ears I start to hear something else calling me...my deck. I'm driving as fast as I can to get there.
In case some of you haven't figured out the movie reference from my post title:
Friday, July 30, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Fond Farewell, Circus In Town
In Memory of Crab Farts
I’ve gone through a half box of tissues and I’m still sniffling and teary after watching Deadliest Catch tonight – saying goodbye to Captain Phil Harris. Phil was a grizzled, gruff, take-no-bullshit kind of guy. He won me over with his cigarette-stained voice and his genuine laugh. He was the epitomy of reality t.v. Frequently admitting to having lived very hard and fast, Phil joked about knowing his days were probably numbered after surviving a blood clot last season. That didn’t make it any easier to deal with when the news came in January of Phil’s stroke and then his death in February. It’s been equally hard for fans of the show to watch this season. We wanted to celebrate when each boat successfully got through King Crab season. We tried to be lighthearted about the opening of Opie season and cheer on the crews. But always hanging in the air was the knowledge that Phil Harris is already gone. It's been a bittersweet journey to this point in the season. Phil – you were a good human being. You lived your life doing what was in your heart and soul. There’s a lesson for all of us in that.
My favorite Phil memory:
Send In The Clowns
Well, what do you know...the NHL has rejected the league-wide joke, aka the Kovalchuk Contract. Is this Bettman finally doing the right thing? Maybe, but doubtful. Is this simply a PR response to having been caught cheating the league in broad daylight? More likely.
Official announcement from NHL.COM: National Hockey League Deputy Commissioner Bill Daly today issued the following statement regarding the free agent contract forward Ilya Kovalchuk signed with the New Jersey Devils: "The contract has been rejected by the League as a circumvention of the Collective Bargaining Agreement. Under the CBA, the contract rejection triggers a number of possible next steps that may be elected by any or each of the NHLPA, the Player and/or the Club. In the interim, the player is not entitled to play under the contract, nor is he entitled to any of the rights and benefits that are provided for thereunder. The League will have no further comment on this matter pending further developments."
Cue the calliope music and a multitude of clowns tumbling out of a mini-cooper:
1. The Devils will likely rewrite the contract in order to better meet the NHL guidelines.
2. Meanwhile, the NHPLA has 5 business days to decide to appeal the rejected contracted with an arbitrator.
3. If the NHPLA do file a grievance, next is the process of getting an agreed-upon arbitrator.
4. The chosen arbitrator has 48 hours to decide if the league correctly rejected the contract.
5. Kovalchuk would again be an unrestricted free agent should the arbitrator side with the rejection by the NHL.
6. Awkward silence ensues when Kovalchuk calls L.A. Kings to say he wanted to be with them all along.
What I'd like to see happen -
1. Arbitrator agrees with NHL and the contract is voided.
2. Kovalchuk goes to KHL, makes $100 million there and laughs all the way to the bank anyway.
3. Bettman gets ousted and parades are thrown in every NHL city.
4. Lou Lamoriello isn't allowed within 1000 miles of the next CBA bargaining table.
What will likely happen -
The contract will hold up under the CBA because that's how it was written and in spite of the fact that it's clearly a big joke. The league and the players association agreed upon the current CBA (current bargaining agreement), which includes this well known loophole. I don't know if the rejection by the NHL can stand up. I'm not a lawyer and I don't play one on t.v. so this is all just my opinion on the situation. Speaking of legal things - does anyone know the definition of collusion? I only ask because this particular contract had to have been orchestrated by both the player/agent duo and the ownership/gm duo. There's no way a player willingly agrees to go from making $3.5 million to $500,000 in the course of one season if his intentions are to play the full length of his contract.
I’ve gone through a half box of tissues and I’m still sniffling and teary after watching Deadliest Catch tonight – saying goodbye to Captain Phil Harris. Phil was a grizzled, gruff, take-no-bullshit kind of guy. He won me over with his cigarette-stained voice and his genuine laugh. He was the epitomy of reality t.v. Frequently admitting to having lived very hard and fast, Phil joked about knowing his days were probably numbered after surviving a blood clot last season. That didn’t make it any easier to deal with when the news came in January of Phil’s stroke and then his death in February. It’s been equally hard for fans of the show to watch this season. We wanted to celebrate when each boat successfully got through King Crab season. We tried to be lighthearted about the opening of Opie season and cheer on the crews. But always hanging in the air was the knowledge that Phil Harris is already gone. It's been a bittersweet journey to this point in the season. Phil – you were a good human being. You lived your life doing what was in your heart and soul. There’s a lesson for all of us in that.
My favorite Phil memory:
Send In The Clowns
Well, what do you know...the NHL has rejected the league-wide joke, aka the Kovalchuk Contract. Is this Bettman finally doing the right thing? Maybe, but doubtful. Is this simply a PR response to having been caught cheating the league in broad daylight? More likely.
Official announcement from NHL.COM: National Hockey League Deputy Commissioner Bill Daly today issued the following statement regarding the free agent contract forward Ilya Kovalchuk signed with the New Jersey Devils: "The contract has been rejected by the League as a circumvention of the Collective Bargaining Agreement. Under the CBA, the contract rejection triggers a number of possible next steps that may be elected by any or each of the NHLPA, the Player and/or the Club. In the interim, the player is not entitled to play under the contract, nor is he entitled to any of the rights and benefits that are provided for thereunder. The League will have no further comment on this matter pending further developments."
Cue the calliope music and a multitude of clowns tumbling out of a mini-cooper:
1. The Devils will likely rewrite the contract in order to better meet the NHL guidelines.
2. Meanwhile, the NHPLA has 5 business days to decide to appeal the rejected contracted with an arbitrator.
3. If the NHPLA do file a grievance, next is the process of getting an agreed-upon arbitrator.
4. The chosen arbitrator has 48 hours to decide if the league correctly rejected the contract.
5. Kovalchuk would again be an unrestricted free agent should the arbitrator side with the rejection by the NHL.
6. Awkward silence ensues when Kovalchuk calls L.A. Kings to say he wanted to be with them all along.
What I'd like to see happen -
1. Arbitrator agrees with NHL and the contract is voided.
2. Kovalchuk goes to KHL, makes $100 million there and laughs all the way to the bank anyway.
3. Bettman gets ousted and parades are thrown in every NHL city.
4. Lou Lamoriello isn't allowed within 1000 miles of the next CBA bargaining table.
What will likely happen -
The contract will hold up under the CBA because that's how it was written and in spite of the fact that it's clearly a big joke. The league and the players association agreed upon the current CBA (current bargaining agreement), which includes this well known loophole. I don't know if the rejection by the NHL can stand up. I'm not a lawyer and I don't play one on t.v. so this is all just my opinion on the situation. Speaking of legal things - does anyone know the definition of collusion? I only ask because this particular contract had to have been orchestrated by both the player/agent duo and the ownership/gm duo. There's no way a player willingly agrees to go from making $3.5 million to $500,000 in the course of one season if his intentions are to play the full length of his contract.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Bad Business, Movie Reviews
Another Reason Why Bettman Sucks
Ilya Kovalchuk signs with the New Jersey Devils for 17 years, paying out a mere 6 million for the first 2 years (less than Mikko will be getting in another year). The next 5 years of Kovy's contract pays out 11.5 million (a shitload more than what the end of Mikko's extension contract). In years 8 - 11 Kovy's income drops by a couple of million consecutively until you get to the grand total of $102,000,000.00
After successfully locking the players out five years ago, NHL owners brokered a CBA which was supposed to keep the field even for both small market and large market teams. It's referred to as the salary cap. However, with all things lawyerly, there's a loophole for the owners. Kovy's contract is a perfect example, and not the only one by any means, of the cheat code that allows megalomaniac owners get out from under the cap restrictions. It's referred as Front Loading. You overpay the player in the beginning of the contract. Then you wind out the pay for a span of time that is so obviously a joke, only a child wouldn't be able to figure it out.
Russo calls out GM Lou Lamirellio as an architect for this loophole, but let's be honest here - GM's can't "spend" that kind of money without the owner's consent. After all, we're talking about someone's business, their livelihood, and there's no way you let your manager spend you out of business. And, there's always a possibility that a player with a gargantuan contract will play for the length of the contract. Cuz, you know - there's Chelios, Messier, Yzerman...and that's how the GM's/Owners look at these kind of contracts. It's an investment in the next Great One or Crosby. Okay - stop laughing now...seriously, stop...you'll have coffee or soda coming out of your nose if you don't stop chortling.
Odds are that Kovy's not going to play in the NHL, for the Devils, until he's 44 years old. There's a better chance he'll get injured or fall out of favor (ie: not scoring for crap) with the coach/gm/owner before the five year mark. No other team in the league will want to trade for him due to the ridiculous contract terms. Ilya will 'retire' from the NHL which lets the team off the hook for his salary. He will then move on to the KHL where he'll literally make an even more obscene amount of money. Vicious cycle, huh?
Fun Fact: Devil's ticket price for upper level (cheapest) seats = $30.00 for season ticket holders. I wonder what they'll be paying next season.
Movie Review
Ilya Kovalchuk signs with the New Jersey Devils for 17 years, paying out a mere 6 million for the first 2 years (less than Mikko will be getting in another year). The next 5 years of Kovy's contract pays out 11.5 million (a shitload more than what the end of Mikko's extension contract). In years 8 - 11 Kovy's income drops by a couple of million consecutively until you get to the grand total of $102,000,000.00
After successfully locking the players out five years ago, NHL owners brokered a CBA which was supposed to keep the field even for both small market and large market teams. It's referred to as the salary cap. However, with all things lawyerly, there's a loophole for the owners. Kovy's contract is a perfect example, and not the only one by any means, of the cheat code that allows megalomaniac owners get out from under the cap restrictions. It's referred as Front Loading. You overpay the player in the beginning of the contract. Then you wind out the pay for a span of time that is so obviously a joke, only a child wouldn't be able to figure it out.
Russo calls out GM Lou Lamirellio as an architect for this loophole, but let's be honest here - GM's can't "spend" that kind of money without the owner's consent. After all, we're talking about someone's business, their livelihood, and there's no way you let your manager spend you out of business. And, there's always a possibility that a player with a gargantuan contract will play for the length of the contract. Cuz, you know - there's Chelios, Messier, Yzerman...and that's how the GM's/Owners look at these kind of contracts. It's an investment in the next Great One or Crosby. Okay - stop laughing now...seriously, stop...you'll have coffee or soda coming out of your nose if you don't stop chortling.
Odds are that Kovy's not going to play in the NHL, for the Devils, until he's 44 years old. There's a better chance he'll get injured or fall out of favor (ie: not scoring for crap) with the coach/gm/owner before the five year mark. No other team in the league will want to trade for him due to the ridiculous contract terms. Ilya will 'retire' from the NHL which lets the team off the hook for his salary. He will then move on to the KHL where he'll literally make an even more obscene amount of money. Vicious cycle, huh?
Fun Fact: Devil's ticket price for upper level (cheapest) seats = $30.00 for season ticket holders. I wonder what they'll be paying next season.
Movie Review
Despicable Me – 4 out of 5 stars
I know some of you adults don’t care for the animated movies but I freely admit to loving them, when they live up to my standards. That means it has to be “Pixar Good” in my book. The animation has got to knock my socks off and there has to be complete follow through on the storyline. Universal’s first 3D animation attempt was pretty good. There’s a roller coaster scene that REAALLLLY works in 3D and is not too shabby in regular old 2D either. The plot gets off track several times which irritated me but since I was laughing out loud at the one-liners I was in a forgiving mood. The Minions were a huge success with the young crowd, as expected. It’s the grown-up humor that I love about these movies. Oh sure, there are the obligatory fart jokes and groin injuries that send 9 year olds into gales of giggles. For me it’s the grown up references, which the kiddies never catch on to, that gets me snorting with laughter. In this movie you’ll pick up on: Lehman Brothers, Q from the Bond movies, Monty Python, Taxi Driver, Apollo 13, Star Wars, Disco and the use of Spanish without subtitles. I loved the Animaniacs cartoon series for the same ‘adult’ reason and never understood why it was aimed at kids. The soundtrack for the movie is great and I'm not usually a fan of Pharrell. By the way, I did laugh at the fart jokes.Inception - 5 out of 5 stars
Far and away my favorite movie of the year. In the words of Will Smith as Agent J in the movie Men In Black: "This definitley rates about a 9.0 on my Weird-Shit-O-Meter." I've seen it twice, not that that's out of the norm for me. You really should see this one twice to catch everything. The special effects are amazing and there were times during the first showing that I was so mesmerized by the graphics I missed one line of dialogue and I struggled to keep up. The concept is fairly new: being able to supplant an idea into someone's subconcious via their dreams. But where do the dreams end and reality begin? That's what will leave you thinking and talking about this movie long after you've left the theatre. I won't share my thoughts on this here since I'd be giving the movie away. Feel free to chat with me if you've seen the movie. I'd be very interested in hearing other people's take on it. Leonardo DeCaprio is phenominal in his role. The supporting cast, a combination of old friends and newcomers, really clicked with the exception of Ellen Page. I just don't think she can act all that well. It's too bad, considering she's got such a large role in this movie. She didn't make the movie suck, but she wasn't a standout, performance-wise, in my opinion. A little too dewy-eyed for the character she plays...just seems out of place somehow. Hans Zimmer is a musical genius and scores this movie perfectly. Here's how much of a freak I am for movie soundtracks - songs and orchestions from Pirates of the Caribbean, Sahara, Italian Job, Wall-E, Burn After Reading can all be found on my iPod.
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