DEE-ICING

Pronunciation: (dē-ˈīsing).

Function: transitive verb.

Definitions -

1 : Process of unwinding after a Wild hockey game.

2 : Process of leaving a lifetime of cold and snow in Minnesota behind for warmer climates.

3 : My random thoughts on hockey, life and the pursuit of really good tequila. (no politics allowed)

4 : Relief from insomnia.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Adventures In Babysitting

Evil Dee's Daycare - Letting Your Kids Run Amok While You're Away 
Every now and then I answer the call of a friend in need when daycare issues come up.  Of course these friends know up front that I'm not a licensed provider and therefore will not be spending the day working flash cards for math, spelling and foreign languages with their little angels.  I'm a 'live in the moment' kind of daycare provider.  That means if somebody wears her shorts backwards all day then so be it.  She got dressed all by herself and we celebrated how big she is.  If somebody else happens to eat a dandelion while exploring in the backyard then he's got a head start on his veggie intake for the day.  Besides, I'm long gone by the time mom discovers that recycled dandelion in Junior's diaper.     
  This week I have the pleasure of spending time with a beautiful ALMOST 4 year old girl and her cherub-cheeked 1 year old brother - who has just recently become VERY upwardly mobile.  You know the stage: teetering on the brink of disaster with each jerky step as he makes his way through the scattered land mines (every imaginable toy and their parts, and one of the biggest, softest teddy bears I've ever seen).  Your heart is pounding and your muscles are tensed, waiting to jump into rescue mode.  But then you look at that face and the sheer joy expressed there and you know it's worth any hightened sense of anxiety over the bumps or bruises that he'll experience in the coming months.  
  My job with Maisy and Andy is considerable easier thanks to the swimming pools and swing set in the backyard.  Maisy is addicted to the water, as witnessed by her lightening-fast change into her swimsuit after mom leaves - at 7:15 a.m.  The sun isn't even shining in the backyard yet.  So we swing for awhile, have a little snack and then slather on the sunscreen in preparation for pool time.  This is such a hard gig for me...outside with 2 kids who are addicted to the sun and water.  I chase after errant beach balls and make sure Andy doesn't do a faceplant in his little pool.  We take in a puppet show at the local park and then walk around to watch the bigger kids practicing soccer and baseball.  I figure all that fresh air and exercise is gonna mean tuckered out kids.     
  Of course, we all know who's completely exhausted at the end of the day - me!  I've clearly found the best of nature's sleep aids...children under the age of six.  It's not just a physical tired either, there's the mental challenges of kids being sooo smart at younger ages these days.  You can't get away with just saying 'because that's the way it is'.  Not when they're using Leapster applications on the computer.  It's an all day effort to make sure I stay up to their speed!  Yet, as I'm driving home each night, smelling of baby shampoo and sunscreen and pulling semi-soggy goldfish crackers out of my hair I have to admit: I wouldn't have missed the opportunity for anything in the world.  I'm pretty sure Heather was banking on that when she asked me to stay with her kids.  She knows me too well when it comes to her kidlets - I love to love 'em.
   Now that the week is over I'm reminded why I don't have kids.  Because you can't put them in a kennel and leave them alone for 10 hours.  Seriously, for me it's just about being the fun 'auntie', then handing the little buggers back to their parents at the end of the day.  There's fresh pineapple waiting to be blended with Patron in a giant pitcher of margaritas in my kitchen.  There's a thick ribeye steak marinating in the fridge.  And as the squeals, giggles and screams of delighted kids fades from my ears I start to hear something else calling me...my deck.  I'm driving as fast as I can to get there.         

In case some of you haven't figured out the movie reference from my post title:  

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Fond Farewell, Circus In Town

In Memory of Crab Farts
I’ve gone through a half box of tissues and I’m still sniffling and teary after watching Deadliest Catch tonight – saying goodbye to Captain Phil Harris.  Phil was a grizzled, gruff, take-no-bullshit kind of guy.  He won me over with his cigarette-stained voice and his genuine laugh.  He was the epitomy of reality t.v.  Frequently admitting to having lived very hard and fast, Phil joked about knowing his days were probably numbered after surviving a blood clot last season.  That didn’t make it any easier to deal with when the news came in January of Phil’s stroke and then his death in February.  It’s been equally hard for fans of the show to watch this season.  We wanted to celebrate when each boat successfully got through King Crab season.  We tried to be lighthearted about the opening of Opie season and cheer on the crews.  But always hanging in the air was the knowledge that Phil Harris is already gone.  It's been a bittersweet journey to this point in the season.  Phil – you were a good human being. You lived your life doing what was in your heart and soul. There’s a lesson for all of us in that.
My favorite Phil memory: 



Send In The Clowns
Well, what do you know...the NHL has rejected the league-wide joke, aka the Kovalchuk Contract.  Is this Bettman finally doing the right thing?  Maybe, but doubtful.  Is this simply a PR response to having been caught cheating the league in broad daylight?  More likely.  
       Official announcement from NHL.COM: National Hockey League Deputy Commissioner Bill Daly today issued the following statement regarding the free agent contract forward Ilya Kovalchuk signed with the New Jersey Devils: "The contract has been rejected by the League as a circumvention of the Collective Bargaining Agreement. Under the CBA, the contract rejection triggers a number of possible next steps that may be elected by any or each of the NHLPA, the Player and/or the Club. In the interim, the player is not entitled to play under the contract, nor is he entitled to any of the rights and benefits that are provided for thereunder. The League will have no further comment on this matter pending further developments." 

Cue the calliope music and a multitude of clowns tumbling out of a mini-cooper:
  1. The Devils will likely rewrite the contract in order to better meet the NHL guidelines. 
  2. Meanwhile, the NHPLA has 5 business days to decide to appeal the rejected contracted with an arbitrator.  
  3. If the NHPLA do file a grievance, next is the process of getting an agreed-upon arbitrator. 
  4. The chosen arbitrator has 48 hours to decide if the league correctly rejected the contract.  
  5. Kovalchuk would again be an unrestricted free agent should the arbitrator side with the rejection by the NHL. 
  6. Awkward silence ensues when Kovalchuk calls L.A. Kings to say he wanted to be with them all along.     

What I'd like to see happen
  1. Arbitrator agrees with NHL and the contract is voided. 
  2. Kovalchuk goes to KHL, makes $100 million there and laughs all the way to the bank anyway.      
  3. Bettman gets ousted and parades are thrown in every NHL city. 
  4. Lou Lamoriello isn't allowed within 1000 miles of the next CBA bargaining table.

What will likely happen
The contract will hold up under the CBA because that's how it was written and in spite of the fact that it's clearly a big joke.  The league and the players association agreed upon the current CBA (current bargaining agreement), which includes this well known loophole.  I don't know if the rejection by the NHL can stand up.  I'm not a lawyer and I don't play one on t.v. so this is all just my opinion on the situation.  Speaking of legal things - does anyone know the definition of collusion?  I only ask because this particular contract had to have been orchestrated by both the player/agent duo and the ownership/gm duo.  There's no way a player willingly agrees to go from making $3.5 million to $500,000 in the course of one season if his intentions are to play the full length of his contract. 

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Bad Business, Movie Reviews

Another Reason Why Bettman Sucks
Ilya Kovalchuk signs with the New Jersey Devils for 17 years, paying out a mere 6 million for the first 2 years (less than Mikko will be getting in another year).  The next 5 years of Kovy's contract pays out 11.5 million (a shitload more than what the end of Mikko's extension contract).  In years 8 - 11 Kovy's income drops by a couple of million consecutively until you get to the grand total of $102,000,000.00 
   After successfully locking the players out five years ago, NHL owners brokered a CBA which was supposed to keep the field even for both small market and large market teams.  It's referred to as the salary cap.  However, with all things lawyerly, there's a loophole for the owners.  Kovy's contract is a perfect example, and not the only one by any means, of the cheat code that allows megalomaniac owners get out from under the cap restrictions.  It's referred as Front Loading.  You overpay the player in the beginning of the contract.  Then you wind out the pay for a span of time that is so obviously a joke, only a child wouldn't be able to figure it out. 
   Russo calls out GM Lou Lamirellio as an architect for this loophole, but let's be honest here - GM's can't "spend" that kind of money without the owner's consent.  After all, we're talking about someone's business, their livelihood, and there's no way you let your manager spend you out of business.  And, there's always a possibility that a player with a gargantuan contract will play for the length of the contract.  Cuz, you know - there's Chelios, Messier, Yzerman...and that's how the GM's/Owners look at these kind of contracts.  It's an investment in the next Great One or Crosby.  Okay - stop laughing now...seriously, stop...you'll have coffee or soda coming out of your nose if you don't stop chortling. 
   Odds are that Kovy's not going to play in the NHL, for the Devils, until he's 44 years old.  There's a better chance he'll get injured or fall out of favor (ie: not scoring for crap) with the coach/gm/owner before the five year mark.  No other team in the league will want to trade for him due to the ridiculous contract terms.  Ilya will 'retire' from the NHL which lets the team off the hook for his salary.  He will then move on to the KHL where he'll literally make an even more obscene amount of money.  Vicious cycle, huh? 
   Fun Fact: Devil's ticket price for upper level (cheapest) seats = $30.00 for season ticket holders.  I wonder what they'll be paying next season.     


Movie Review

Despicable Me – 4 out of 5 stars
I know some of you adults don’t care for the animated movies but I freely admit to loving them, when they live up to my standards.  That means it has to be “Pixar Good” in my book.  The animation has got to knock my socks off and there has to be complete follow through on the storyline.  Universal’s first 3D animation attempt was pretty good.  There’s a roller coaster scene that REAALLLLY works in 3D and is not too shabby in regular old 2D either.  The plot gets off track several times which irritated me but since I was laughing out loud at the one-liners I was in a forgiving mood.  The Minions were a huge success with the young crowd, as expected.  It’s the grown-up humor that I love about these movies.  Oh sure, there are the obligatory fart jokes and groin injuries that send 9 year olds into gales of giggles.  For me it’s the grown up references, which the kiddies never catch on to, that gets me snorting with laughter.  In this movie you’ll pick up on: Lehman Brothers, Q from the Bond movies, Monty Python, Taxi Driver, Apollo 13, Star Wars, Disco and the use of Spanish without subtitles.  I loved the Animaniacs cartoon series for the same ‘adult’ reason and never understood why it was aimed at kids.  The soundtrack for the movie is great and I'm not usually a fan of Pharrell.  By the way, I did laugh at the fart jokes.

Inception - 5 out of 5 stars
Far and away my favorite movie of the year.  In the words of Will Smith as Agent J in the movie Men In Black: "This definitley rates about a 9.0 on my Weird-Shit-O-Meter."  I've seen it twice, not that that's out of the norm for me.  You really should see this one twice to catch everything.  The special effects are amazing and there were times during the first showing that I was so mesmerized by the graphics I missed one line of dialogue and I struggled to keep up.  The concept is fairly new: being able to supplant an idea into someone's subconcious via their dreams.  But where do the dreams end and reality begin?  That's what will leave you thinking and talking about this movie long after you've left the theatre.  I won't share my thoughts on this here since I'd be giving the movie away.  Feel free to chat with me if you've seen the movie.  I'd be very interested in hearing other people's take on it.  Leonardo DeCaprio is phenominal in his role.  The supporting cast, a combination of old friends and newcomers, really clicked with the exception of Ellen Page.  I just don't think she can act all that well.  It's too bad, considering she's got such a large role in this movie.  She didn't make the movie suck, but she wasn't a standout, performance-wise, in my opinion.  A little too dewy-eyed for the character she plays...just seems out of place somehow.  Hans Zimmer is a musical genius and scores this movie perfectly.  Here's how much of a freak I am for movie soundtracks - songs and orchestions from Pirates of the Caribbean, Sahara, Italian Job, Wall-E, Burn After Reading can all be found on my iPod.     

     

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Unexcused Absence, Fresh Sheets, Old Print

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah - I'm a slacker. What can I say?  I've been a little busy with friends, the gardens, reading, soaking up this fabulous weather. 

Ice In July
That's right folks, there's fresh ice at the X this week.  The Wild's developmental camp wraps up on Sunday, July 17 with a scrimmage that's open to the public.  After watching today's game I have hope for the near and not too distant future of this team.  We still need a high scoring center, RFN, but our "shelf stock" is looking better than it has in a long time.  My favorite part of the day was talking with a youth hockey team that was here from Germany.  They were acting like paparazzi, snapping pictures of one of their celebrity-status goalie - Dennis Endras.  Deniis is the draft pick that's supposed to be the next Backstrom...we'll see about that.  Nate Prosser played like he belongs in the NHL.  It's just another 60 days until training camp and I'm betting Nate really makes it hard for TR to send him off to Houston.  Casey Wellman - I think he's my new puppylove in addition to playing very well.  Tyler Cuma is not injured this time around so he's getting his first real look.  Let's hope he can stay in one piece going into this season.  I had an awesome time today, met some really nice people (local and foreign) and got to see the future of this team.  It's going to get better, maybe not this season, but we certainly have some pieces that will click in a matter of a few short years.  You just have to remind yourself that we're still at least two years away from totalling exorcising the demon that is Doug Risebrough from the team.  

Yesterday's News
Just in case you've recently arrived back home from another country and haven't caught up on the local sports scene: Mikko Koivu signed an extension to his current contract.  In another year he'll be making boatload of money.  There are incentive bonuses and a no trade clause that will keep him here for the next 8 years.  Two great articles on Mikko's signing: Russo and BleacherReport will break things down for you.  

In The Garden
Are your flower baskets looking gangly and straggly?  It’s not unusual for your annuals to get a little out of hand this time of the season.  The best remedy is to cut them back.  Yes, you’ll lose some blooms for the next week or so.  Your plants will thank you by coming back thicker and stronger heading into the second half of the summer season.  Take each stem down to at least the next branching/division below the head.  Whack it back, as I always say.  There’s nothing like a little pruning to let your plants know who’s boss.

Hamster Rap
For a car line that probably won’t be in business for much longer, Kia certainly rocks their commercials.  I don’t have anything against Hyundai, I’m just going by what I read about car models that probably won’t survive.  I’m currently bouncin’ in a Tuscon that I love.  I’ve also driven 3 Sonatas over the 150,000 mile mark, each.  Here's a little something to get you groovin'


Thursday, July 8, 2010

Sizzlin' Hot, Crowding the Goal

Feel The Burn
Sunshine and Soaring Temperatures - two of my favorite things.  Yep, it’s summer in Minnesota and I am in my GLORY!  These are the days I live for.  These are the days I cry out loud for during January, February and March.  These are the days that recharge my very soul.  I am happiest when reading a book, sipping ice tea and listening to my iPod all while soaking up rays on my deck.  If the Twins have a day game broadcasting on the radio I reach a level of bliss that cannot be rivaled.  I quite often find myself smiling, even when I’m alone.  And for all of you sissy-na-na’s out there, suck it up.  I spent five summers inside a greenhouse with temperatures well over 100⁰ - sweating from pores I don't think ladies are supposed to sweat from.  I was often sloshing in my boots because that's where all of that sweat pooled.  I’ve had to literally peel articles of clothing from my body that were crusted by dried sweat – hence my love for Oxyclean.  So, I don’t wanna hear you nancies whining about breaking a sweat while going from your air-conditioned cars to your air-conditioned offices.  You winter freaks will get your time with the ice and cold.  Just let me have these wonderfully stinkin’ hot summer days in peace.  
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The Eight Wild Reindeer 
There's Backstrom and Harding, Hackett and Khudobin, Dubielewicz and Kuemper, Gustafsson and now Endras. 
Looks like the Wild have signed another goalie, this one out of Germany.  According to Russo the Wild is counting on this kid to be the next Niklas Backstrom.  Ooh, how exciting!  Er, Wait a minute, what about Khudobin??  If the Wild are so high on Dennis Endras coming over from Germany in another season what's to become of my Hobbit?  I popped over to see what MsConduct was thinking and sure enough, we're on the same wavelength.  Will he stick it out for another season to see what the future will bring in the NHL or will he look to the European league to cash in on the big bucks?  Of course, there is a lot of time to work things out.  Dubie is out of the picture, IMO.  That leaves Khudobin and Hackett in Houston for now and I'm sure they'll be pushing each other for top spot.  Who knows what can happen via injury or performance pressure for any of these guys?

Robbie Earl Is Back!  I admire his energy and dedication so I'm happy to see he's signed a one year deal.      

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Infidelity and Sparklers

My Cheatin’ Heart
I have a confession to make – I’ve been spending time with a different sport lately.  I feel kind of naughty, like I’ve been cheating on the love of my life, at a very crucial time in our relationship.  I pretty much blew off the first day of NHL free agency on July 1st.  Instead, I spent the next four days splashing around in Lake Minnetonka with Buster and frolicking at Target Field with the Twins.  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to know what was happening with the Wild during this year’s free agency scramble.  I was in the loop, thanks to a friend with a data package and twitter alerts from Michael Russo.  It made me feel a little less guilty about not being there for my Wild on one of the most important days of the off-season.  Of course, there was a price to pay for my infidelity.  I think I cursed the Twins since they lost all three games I attended since last Thursday.  I’ll take the hit Connie, I’m so sorry.  I’m owning up to my infidelity.  I’ll start making amends to you Wild fans right now.  Here's Russo's Blog, in case you haven't read through it.    
A bullet point rundown:
• Matt Cullen signs on for 3 year deal worth $10.5 million


• Eric Nystrom signs on for 3 year deal worth $4.2 million


• Boogaard signs with the Rangers for 4 year/$6.6 million deal


• Andrew Ebbett signed with the Coyotes


• John Scott signed with the Hawks


• Owen Nolan was not re-signed by the Wild, or any other team – for now


• Let’s Undress extended his contract for another 2 years


• No word on extending Koivu’s contract yet
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Yankee Doodle Dandy
I hope you all had a fun and safe Fourth of July weekend, especially with the extra day off most of you got.  How great was it to take in the fireworks on Sunday night knowing you still had all day Monday to goof off?  I had to take a pass on the opportunity to watch the fireworks from Bobbi’s spectacular view on the river, but I did make it to my usual spot – my deck.  The cities of Apple Valley, Burnsville, Lakeville and Eagan all put on shows that can be seen from my deck.  There are also several folks in the surrounding neighborhoods that put on firework shows.  It started about 8 years ago with just a couple of neighbors lighting off a few of the big guns before the Real Show kicked off.  This year there were at least six houses putting on pyrotechnic shows that likely should have been licensed, but very enjoyable up close.  Oohs and aahs were audible throughout the valley and up the hill to my property.  The muggy haze left over from the humid day turned to blue and the smell of gunpowder soon filled the air.  In between rounds of aerial shells I watched firebugs darting in and out of the artic willows below me.  Standing there at the deck rail, with the sights and sounds of a quintessential Minnesota summer day coming to a spectacular close, I realized how lucky I am.  Life doesn’t get much better than this.