More Hockey Holiday Humor

HO-HO-HO!  Heatley Scores!

Chicago Having Fun At Their Own Expense



Blue Jackets, Yes-Columbus, Getting The Job Done



Must-Follows on Twitter:

@ChurchofYeo

@msconduct10

@danysturtleneck

@burnzie88

@kassassination

@styleswild

@russostrib

@rstanzel

Must-Reads on Internetz:

TheScore.com - NHL Blogs  (especially Tea with MsConduct)

The Third Intermission

Bruins Holiday Video:



Before He Was Shanaban Part II:



I'm Ordering My Christmas Cards For Next Season From Here
(Guess which design I'm going with)

Christmas Comes Early For Coach Dave
Coach Daggett moonlights as Ref Daggett and he got the thrill of the season this week when he reffed a bantam game at Excel Energy Center, the home of our Minnesota Wild.  I could just see his face all lit up when I received his text letting me know of his adventure on home ice.  Way to go Dave!!  Not nearly as good as getting your picture taken with Wes Walz, but it's definitely up there on the OMGCanYouBelieveThat! Meter rating. 

Heatley You Tube Parodies (NOT for the kiddies)
 - Click on any of the All Star videos - OttawaGh0st4 is a genius!

PEACE ON EARTH, FFS!

Lighten Up, Francis

Wild hockey isn't much fun these days with all of the injuries and the lack of focus and being on a west coast road trip from hell and the guys still needing to find just the right gift for their wives/girlfriends.  Rather than expanding the naughty list for lack of effort let's have some fun and lighten the mood.  

All I Need To Know I Learned From Hockey:
Respect your opponent.
Show up every night.
Be loyal to your team.
Practice.
Be willing to make mistakes.
Hate losing.
Curse, but don't boast.
It's good to be the underdog.
Do anything to win.
Nothing is worth ending someone's career or their life.
Life is much better with a Zamboni than without one.
Learn to speak obscenities in a dozen languages.
Never give up, never surrender.
You can't win without the grinders.
Be willing to get hurt.
No one is too good to score ugly goals.
Shower.
If you think you can do it, you can.
Do not feed or tease the goalie.
Spaghetti has all the nutrients you'll ever need.
Look for the play.
Don't expect everyone you meet to understand your passion.  When you find people who do, treat them like long-lost friends.
Two minutes, in the box, by yourself--you feel shame. Then you get free. 

It's all fun and games till the puck drops

Before He Was "The Shanaban"

Hockey Commandments

 

Thou shalt have no other sports before Thee.

Thou shalt not throw the puck blindly up the middle.

Thou shalt honour thy blue line and thy goal crease.

Thou shalt not enter the neutral zone with thy head down.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy video replay official.

Thou shalt not take stupid penalties in the third period.

Thou shalt not root for the Blackhawks or Red Wings.

Thou shalt not talk on thy cell phone during a game.

He'll Always Be The Goofball



San Jose Sharks Holiday Video

Tis The Season
The tradition of the TEDDY BEAR TOSS is a popular Christmas season promotion at many minor and junior hockey arenas throughout North America. Fans are encouraged to bring teddy bears to the game, and to throw them onto the ice when the home team scores its first goal. The toys are then gathered up to be donated as Christmas presents to hospitals and charities. In many cases, the players themselves personally donate some of the bears to children at area hospitals. It's believed this tradition started in Kitchener, Ontario at Kitchener Rangers games.  The tradition is perhaps the most popular in the Western Hockey League cities of Calgary, Alberta and Portland, Oregon.  
The Calgary Hitman Set A Record This Year


And it wouldn't be the holidays without some baked goods:

From my rink to yours - Merry Christmas! 

Buster says - Fleas Navidad!

Ugly Hockey, Is There A Doctor In The House?, Princess Bride,

Wild 1, Islanders 2

UGLY - UGLY - UGLY
I could only listen to the KFAN stream from the Wild's website for this game as NHL GameCenter had the game blacked out.  I can't imagine that was due to lack of ticket sales for the Wild since they ultimately announced a crowd total of 18,209.  It must have been the Islander's doing, at least that's what I'm going with.  Whatever the reason I was pretty bummed to say the least, given that I really wanted to see Jarod Palmer's NHL debut as well as seeing Kyle's line move up to the second line slot.  I didn't think this would be a pretty game by any stretch of the imagination but I figured it would be good to see how the guys worked to fill in the gaps left by Koivu, Bouchard, Latendresse, Setoguchi and Wellman. 
UGLY - that's the word of the game.  Our guys were definitely not playing Yeo Hockey.  Stupid penalties, bad passing, lack of possession, inability to clear our zone.  It didn't help that the refs were blatantly not calling penalties on the Islanders throughout the entire game.  I don't usually like to call out the reffing but these guys were so bad I thought we were back in pre-season.  The fans booed the team off the ice after the second period: Islanders outshot the Wild 15-4.  Part of me was thinking it was undeserved due to the team missing 4 key players.  Part of me was thinking it was warranted considering the Wild's been touting how interchangeable the Houston players and the Wild players are due to Yeo's system.  I'm going with the warranted boos because the guys, regardless of AHL or NHL affiliation, were not playing hockey the way Yeo expects them to.  Jarod Palmer was the only player who should have any kind of a rough time adjusting since it was his NHL debut.  The rest of the guys have been here, done this enough that it should be second nature.  To make my point: 4 of the 9 shots the Wild took through the second period were from Jarod Palmer.  Heatley, Cullen, Clutterbuck, Brodziak: ZERO.
The third period saw our guys skating better and the Islanders making bad plays.  Thanks to Cullen forcing a turnover DanysTurtleneck got the puck on net and Clutterbuck put the rebound past Montoya to tie the game.  They held on to force overtime which guaranteed the Wild remained in first place.  Jarod Palmer was ROBBED of his first NHL goal and Backstrom stood on his head at the other end during the five minutes of OT.  Msconduct tweeted the Aeros' stats for shootouts - Zero percent.  Not what I wanted to see.  What The Fuck was Yeo thinking having Zhidlicky in the shootout???  Cullen and Heatley couldn't get the job done either and the Islanders win the game in the shootout.
Bad News: Wild on three game losing streak.
Good News: Wild have 2 points in the last three games they've lost.                

Favorite Tweets From The Game
3. RussostribMichael Russo - end of 2nd period: #mnwild fans boo the minor-league team off the ice #welldone; 1-0 #isles but feels like 10-0

2. ChurchOfYeoChurch of Yeo - Second intermission sermon: PLAY THE F**KING GAME!

1. walz3737Wes Walz - 1 minute into the 3rd period: Wild have them right where they want them..


I'm sure the Islander's back up goalie has heard this all of his life but it's just too good to pass up:



Kiss A Boo-Boo, Make It Better
From Russo:
The Wild have sustained 112 man games lost to injury through 33 games. Here’s a look at some of the key ones:
Player; Position; Injury; Dates Missed; Games Missed
Cal Clutterbuck; W; upper body/2 thighs; sporadic; 4
Casey Wellman; W; wrist; Dec. 14-present; 2+
Clayton Stoner; D; Broken finger; Oct. 29-Nov. 12; 7
Devin Setoguchi; W; Knee; Dec. 8-present; 5+
Greg Zanon; D; groin; Oct. 22-Nov. 27; 16
*Guillaume Latendresse; LW; concussion; Nov. 12-Dec. 10; 16+
Josh Harding; G; neck; Dec. 8-14; 4
Justin Falk; D; upper body; Nov. 28-present; 9+
Marco Scandella; D; concussion; Nov. 13-19; 4
Marek Zidlicky; D; concussion; Nov. 17-Dec. 13; 13
Mike Lundin; D; back; Oct. 8-Nov. 27; 23
Mikko Koivu; C; leg; Dec. 16-present; 1+
Niklas Backstrom; G; groin; Dec. 4-6; 2
Pierre-Marc Bouchard; W; nose/head; Dec. 14; 2+
*sidelined again with a concussion

West Coast Trip Coming Up
Late night games for the week before Christmas against the Canucks, Flames and Oilers.  For those of you who will be up late wrapping presents, addressing cards and baking cookies you'll have some good company at least.  I think it will be a good week to put together some posts filled with some fun holiday themes and funny hockey folks to follow via twitter, blogs and web sites.