More Hockey Holiday Humor

HO-HO-HO!  Heatley Scores!

Chicago Having Fun At Their Own Expense



Blue Jackets, Yes-Columbus, Getting The Job Done



Must-Follows on Twitter:

@ChurchofYeo

@msconduct10

@danysturtleneck

@burnzie88

@kassassination

@styleswild

@russostrib

@rstanzel

Must-Reads on Internetz:

TheScore.com - NHL Blogs  (especially Tea with MsConduct)

The Third Intermission

Bruins Holiday Video:



Before He Was Shanaban Part II:



I'm Ordering My Christmas Cards For Next Season From Here
(Guess which design I'm going with)

Christmas Comes Early For Coach Dave
Coach Daggett moonlights as Ref Daggett and he got the thrill of the season this week when he reffed a bantam game at Excel Energy Center, the home of our Minnesota Wild.  I could just see his face all lit up when I received his text letting me know of his adventure on home ice.  Way to go Dave!!  Not nearly as good as getting your picture taken with Wes Walz, but it's definitely up there on the OMGCanYouBelieveThat! Meter rating. 

Heatley You Tube Parodies (NOT for the kiddies)
 - Click on any of the All Star videos - OttawaGh0st4 is a genius!

PEACE ON EARTH, FFS!

Lighten Up, Francis

Wild hockey isn't much fun these days with all of the injuries and the lack of focus and being on a west coast road trip from hell and the guys still needing to find just the right gift for their wives/girlfriends.  Rather than expanding the naughty list for lack of effort let's have some fun and lighten the mood.  

All I Need To Know I Learned From Hockey:
Respect your opponent.
Show up every night.
Be loyal to your team.
Practice.
Be willing to make mistakes.
Hate losing.
Curse, but don't boast.
It's good to be the underdog.
Do anything to win.
Nothing is worth ending someone's career or their life.
Life is much better with a Zamboni than without one.
Learn to speak obscenities in a dozen languages.
Never give up, never surrender.
You can't win without the grinders.
Be willing to get hurt.
No one is too good to score ugly goals.
Shower.
If you think you can do it, you can.
Do not feed or tease the goalie.
Spaghetti has all the nutrients you'll ever need.
Look for the play.
Don't expect everyone you meet to understand your passion.  When you find people who do, treat them like long-lost friends.
Two minutes, in the box, by yourself--you feel shame. Then you get free. 

It's all fun and games till the puck drops

Before He Was "The Shanaban"

Hockey Commandments

 

Thou shalt have no other sports before Thee.

Thou shalt not throw the puck blindly up the middle.

Thou shalt honour thy blue line and thy goal crease.

Thou shalt not enter the neutral zone with thy head down.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy video replay official.

Thou shalt not take stupid penalties in the third period.

Thou shalt not root for the Blackhawks or Red Wings.

Thou shalt not talk on thy cell phone during a game.

He'll Always Be The Goofball



San Jose Sharks Holiday Video

Tis The Season
The tradition of the TEDDY BEAR TOSS is a popular Christmas season promotion at many minor and junior hockey arenas throughout North America. Fans are encouraged to bring teddy bears to the game, and to throw them onto the ice when the home team scores its first goal. The toys are then gathered up to be donated as Christmas presents to hospitals and charities. In many cases, the players themselves personally donate some of the bears to children at area hospitals. It's believed this tradition started in Kitchener, Ontario at Kitchener Rangers games.  The tradition is perhaps the most popular in the Western Hockey League cities of Calgary, Alberta and Portland, Oregon.  
The Calgary Hitman Set A Record This Year


And it wouldn't be the holidays without some baked goods:

From my rink to yours - Merry Christmas! 

Buster says - Fleas Navidad!

Ugly Hockey, Is There A Doctor In The House?, Princess Bride,

Wild 1, Islanders 2

UGLY - UGLY - UGLY
I could only listen to the KFAN stream from the Wild's website for this game as NHL GameCenter had the game blacked out.  I can't imagine that was due to lack of ticket sales for the Wild since they ultimately announced a crowd total of 18,209.  It must have been the Islander's doing, at least that's what I'm going with.  Whatever the reason I was pretty bummed to say the least, given that I really wanted to see Jarod Palmer's NHL debut as well as seeing Kyle's line move up to the second line slot.  I didn't think this would be a pretty game by any stretch of the imagination but I figured it would be good to see how the guys worked to fill in the gaps left by Koivu, Bouchard, Latendresse, Setoguchi and Wellman. 
UGLY - that's the word of the game.  Our guys were definitely not playing Yeo Hockey.  Stupid penalties, bad passing, lack of possession, inability to clear our zone.  It didn't help that the refs were blatantly not calling penalties on the Islanders throughout the entire game.  I don't usually like to call out the reffing but these guys were so bad I thought we were back in pre-season.  The fans booed the team off the ice after the second period: Islanders outshot the Wild 15-4.  Part of me was thinking it was undeserved due to the team missing 4 key players.  Part of me was thinking it was warranted considering the Wild's been touting how interchangeable the Houston players and the Wild players are due to Yeo's system.  I'm going with the warranted boos because the guys, regardless of AHL or NHL affiliation, were not playing hockey the way Yeo expects them to.  Jarod Palmer was the only player who should have any kind of a rough time adjusting since it was his NHL debut.  The rest of the guys have been here, done this enough that it should be second nature.  To make my point: 4 of the 9 shots the Wild took through the second period were from Jarod Palmer.  Heatley, Cullen, Clutterbuck, Brodziak: ZERO.
The third period saw our guys skating better and the Islanders making bad plays.  Thanks to Cullen forcing a turnover DanysTurtleneck got the puck on net and Clutterbuck put the rebound past Montoya to tie the game.  They held on to force overtime which guaranteed the Wild remained in first place.  Jarod Palmer was ROBBED of his first NHL goal and Backstrom stood on his head at the other end during the five minutes of OT.  Msconduct tweeted the Aeros' stats for shootouts - Zero percent.  Not what I wanted to see.  What The Fuck was Yeo thinking having Zhidlicky in the shootout???  Cullen and Heatley couldn't get the job done either and the Islanders win the game in the shootout.
Bad News: Wild on three game losing streak.
Good News: Wild have 2 points in the last three games they've lost.                

Favorite Tweets From The Game
3. RussostribMichael Russo - end of 2nd period: #mnwild fans boo the minor-league team off the ice #welldone; 1-0 #isles but feels like 10-0

2. ChurchOfYeoChurch of Yeo - Second intermission sermon: PLAY THE F**KING GAME!

1. walz3737Wes Walz - 1 minute into the 3rd period: Wild have them right where they want them..


I'm sure the Islander's back up goalie has heard this all of his life but it's just too good to pass up:



Kiss A Boo-Boo, Make It Better
From Russo:
The Wild have sustained 112 man games lost to injury through 33 games. Here’s a look at some of the key ones:
Player; Position; Injury; Dates Missed; Games Missed
Cal Clutterbuck; W; upper body/2 thighs; sporadic; 4
Casey Wellman; W; wrist; Dec. 14-present; 2+
Clayton Stoner; D; Broken finger; Oct. 29-Nov. 12; 7
Devin Setoguchi; W; Knee; Dec. 8-present; 5+
Greg Zanon; D; groin; Oct. 22-Nov. 27; 16
*Guillaume Latendresse; LW; concussion; Nov. 12-Dec. 10; 16+
Josh Harding; G; neck; Dec. 8-14; 4
Justin Falk; D; upper body; Nov. 28-present; 9+
Marco Scandella; D; concussion; Nov. 13-19; 4
Marek Zidlicky; D; concussion; Nov. 17-Dec. 13; 13
Mike Lundin; D; back; Oct. 8-Nov. 27; 23
Mikko Koivu; C; leg; Dec. 16-present; 1+
Niklas Backstrom; G; groin; Dec. 4-6; 2
Pierre-Marc Bouchard; W; nose/head; Dec. 14; 2+
*sidelined again with a concussion

West Coast Trip Coming Up
Late night games for the week before Christmas against the Canucks, Flames and Oilers.  For those of you who will be up late wrapping presents, addressing cards and baking cookies you'll have some good company at least.  I think it will be a good week to put together some posts filled with some fun holiday themes and funny hockey folks to follow via twitter, blogs and web sites.   

Still The One, Dropping Like Flies, New Playmates, Home Is Where My Dog Is

Star On Top Of The Christmas Tree
That's our Minnesota Wild, folks!  Still sitting on top of the NHL, despite losing the last two games.  And yet, the national sports media machine is still having a hard time finding Minnesota on a map of the United States.  I'm reminded of the scene in the movie Major League when the team (Cleveland Indians) is doing a commercial for American Express credit card.  I tried really hard to find the actual video of this scene but couldn't come up with it on youtube.  This is from the IMD movie quotes site:

Everybody: Hello. Do you know us?
[Everybody, except Rick, puts on their caps]
Everybody: We're a Major League Baseball team.
Jake Taylor: But since we haven't won a pennant in over 30 years, nobody recognizes us - not even in our own home town.
Eddie Harris: That's why we carry the American Express card.
Rick Vaughn: No matter how far out of first we are, it's cool. You know, it keeps us from getting shut out at our favorite hotels and restaurant-type places.
Pedro Cerrano: [pointing to us] So if you're looking for some Big-League clout, apply for that little green home-run hitter.
Roger Dorn: Look what it's done for US. People still DON'T recognize us but...
[Roger snaps his fingers]
Lou Brown: We're contenders now.
[Also dressed in a tuxedo, Willie slides into home plate and holds up a green credit card]
Willie Mays Hayes: The American Express card: Don't steal home without it.

This is totally a snapshot of the Wild right now.  We'll just continue to do our thing quietly and consistently and see where the chips have fallen come late March.  Of course, if the injuries keep piling up we're going to run out of Houston Aeros to call up.

Bring Out Your Dead
Nobody's dead, don't anybody panic out there, but I can't help but think of the scene out of Monty Python and the Holy Grail: 
 

• Gui is out again after basically one game with "post-concussion" symptoms, meaning his mushed melon still needs time to solidify. 
• Seto is recovering from a knee, er - I mean Lower Body injury.  While nobody on the Wild is committing to any timeframe there is speculation that it's at least a couple of weeks before he skates by himself. 
• Koivu limped off the ice near the end of the overtime at the X Wednesday night against the Hawks.
• PMB got his nose caved in during the waning moments of the Jets game in Winnipeg Tuesday night.  Still waiting to hear about the CT results and from Butch whether or not he feels concussion-like symptoms returning since his whole face hurts right now. 
• Clutterbuck has just returned from dealing with back to back leg injuries (charley horses).
• Zidlicky (I'll refrain from using my favorite nickname for him for the time being - and thanks to Jane's hubby for coming up with it) has just returned from missing 13 games with concussion issues. 
• Cullen missed a game due to the flu bug - let's all pray that he was completely recovered when he played Wednesday night otherwise it will spread like the plague through the locker room. 

The Way It Should Be
It's still pending the players union approval but I don't think anyone in the NHL is doubting that the proposed realignment isn't as good as a done deal.  Here's how the conferences will look beginning next season:

East		West
Conference 1	Conference 2	Conference 3	Conference 4
Carolina	Boston	Chicago	Anaheim
New Jersey	Buffalo	Columbus	Calgary
NY Islanders	Florida	Dallas	Colorado
NY Rangers	Montreal	Detroit	Edmonton
Philadelphia	Ottawa	Minnesota	Los Angeles
Pittsburgh	Tampa Bay	Nashville	Phoenix
Washington	Toronto	St. Louis	San Jose
		Winnipeg	Vancouver

Say goodbye to those sleep deprivation game starts on the West Coast (at least so friggin' many of them).  Say hello to building new (out of old) rivalries with teams that are in our time zone.  It's clear that there is no love lost between the Wild and the newly anointed Winnipeg Jets so are we seeing the beginning of something beautiful in terms of a good old fashioned conference rivalry?  With Chicago and St. Louis in the same conference as the Wild will there be a return of the Black and Blue series rivalries?  All of this remains to be seen but I'm calling the realignment a Winner just based on the extra hours of sleep I'll gain from not having to stay up until 10:30 p.m. before a game STARTS anymore.

Home And Hearth 
No matter where I end up at the end of any day as long as my dog is with me I'll be home.  Lots of friends have asked me how hard it was to be without a permanent home until getting to Georgia.  I just tell them Home Is Where My Dog Is.  A very wise person once said: "You can take my money and my job, my house and my home.  But leave me my dog for without the love of that precious soul I'd truly be alone."  
My home these days is coming along nicely.  Some of my MN near-n-dears have been asking for updates so check out the Through The Lens tab for some pictures of the space I share with Buster.  As you'll see we're quite comfortable and happy to be here! 

First Place!

Sittin' On Top Of World Minnesota Wild: 39 points - tops in the NW Division and tops in the NHL overall. Whodathunkit? Yep, it's EARLY in the season but C'MON! How do you not get excited when watching these guys play? Nope, coming from behind is not the way you want to play for the rest of the season. The Wild need to come prepared for the first period or they'll get bit in the butt, hard, one of these days. I'm remembering a time not so long ago, last season and much of October this season, when this team would give up after being scored on. It was a struggle for our guys to even get off the bench for their shifts, they just didn't want to be there. That's the biggest difference on this team lately, from my perspective. They want to be there. They want to play together. They want to win. They get ticked off at themselves when they don't play well. They're starting to own their bad play and stepping up to take responsibility. I still think there are some major personality and attitude issues on this team but I'd like to shine the light on those players who have done everything Coach Yeo has asked them to do and in return are finding themselves moving up from the third and fourth lines and finding themselves on the powerplay and on the penalty kill in clutch situations. Cal Clutterbuck - took his one chance to make an impression during the Todd Richard debacle and not only stuck, but has been playing on the second and top lines lately. He's gone from being just the HitMan to being an offensive threat when the Wild's killing off penalties. Kyle Brodziak - I wouldn't have given you a bag of used pucks for Kyle after last season. What a difference a new coach and his motivation methods make, huh? Kyle's work ethic is so vital for this team. Hey, if it's not coming from where you'd think it should come from, Kyle's your man! As Russo put it so succinctly: "Kyle leaves his sweat all over the ice during his shifts." He never takes a shift off. Nick Johnson - The guy nobody ever talked about when he joined the team. That's okay with Nick though, he quietly goes about his business making the other team turn over pucks, sets up pretty passes and gets in front of the net to screen the opposing goalie. He's a digger, going into corners and coming out with the puck. Darroll Powe - You never had to sell me on Darroll even though he came from the most hated team in my eyes, the Flyers. His work ethic matches Kyle's...or Kyle's matches Darroll's, doesn't matter. Darroll leaves everything he has out on the ice every shift as well. Try listening to the radio feed for the Wild, not watching it on tv for a game. You'll hear Darroll's name a lot. You'll also hear a much more intelligent duo of broadcasters but that's a whole different ramble I could go on... I'm not saying the other players aren't giving it 100%. I'm not saying some of the guys on the other lines didn't come in this year determined to have a better season than last year. I'm saying that I think the night-in, night-out effort by the guys on the bottom lines of this team push the other players to be better. Mike Yeo rewards effort and attention to his game plan by giving players more ice time, in more crucial situations and on the top two lines. I've said this before while watching Coach Yeo work with this team and I'll say it again: you don't wanna play Mike's game - there's plenty of Houston Aeros players who will. They'll do it with precision and mucho gusto because they want to be NHL players, in The Show. I think, for the most part, the other players are now on board with Coach Yeo's game plan. I don't think it had anything to do with learning a new culture or new system. That's a bogus excuse made to cover up for players who pull the "I don't wanna and you can't make me" crap when faced with having to hold themselves accountable. If you think I'm off my rocker let's look at the current roster for Aeros players who've either made the team, are semi-permanent due to injuries, or making their debuts. Cody Almond Colton Gilles Casey Wellman Justin Falk Nate Prosser Marco Scandella Jared Spurgeon Clayton Stoner Matt Hackett Granted, not all of these guys are going to overthrow the current players but there are some contracts expiring after this season and there are some 'experienced' players who need reminding of why it is they're getting paid to play at the NHL level. I think it's important for veteran players to remember where they came from and who's hungrily following in their footsteps. I like that Coach Yeo's not afraid to let them see who's nipping at their heels. In a clear sign that Hell is freezing over; ESPN is starting to give props to the Wild, even it's for the GM of the Yearaward and not to the team's play.