DEE-ICING

Pronunciation: (dē-ˈīsing).

Function: transitive verb.

Definitions -

1 : Process of unwinding after a Wild hockey game.

2 : Process of leaving a lifetime of cold and snow in Minnesota behind for warmer climates.

3 : My random thoughts on hockey, life and the pursuit of really good tequila. (no politics allowed)

4 : Relief from insomnia.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

HOCKEY 101

So y'all know I'm currently living in the Peach State where hockey is all but forgotten.  I am making good headway converting my new friends and neighbors.  To their credit they're asking very good questions and are picking up on the game much quicker than I could have hoped for.  They're learning the nuances of the game; it's periods, not halves or quarters.  Icing, hooking, holding, tripping, off sides and the biggie: Pursuing The Altercation.
Then there's the whole hockey vernacular to learn.  I needed some help with this part.  I'm not a huge fan of John Buccigross but he's come up with the following videos that have come in quite handy when helping my new hockey friends understand my "second" language:

Bucci's Hockey Lingo Part One

Bucci's Hockey Lingo Part Two

Sorry for the links instead of straight up video embed - technical difficulties which may or may not be 'stupid user' related.

Many of the newly converted hockey fans here are quickly learning the importance of the goalie, that last line of defence and almost always the hero on any given play. 


But mostly, because if they can do those splits with all that equipment on, well...just let your imagination take over and have a nice little break there...



























Win or Lose

This tweet from Russo pretty much sums up the Wild's future: for the players, coaches and even the GM.


Win or lose, I think Leipold has to look at how this team has been coached, managed and how each individual player has performed/contributed to the current state of inconsistency.  Since you can't really fire the players you have to start with the head coach and the general manager.  I think the picture above speaks volumes for Fletcher already knowing this. 

I'm not going into tonight's game with any faith.  When my hockey partner left the arena after the second period last night I knew this team had blown a hell of a lot more than a game.  For only the second time in the 13 year history of this team has either one of us walked out of a game.  Vicki was hopping mad last night, disgusted, disappointed, let down and heartbroken.  I couldn't console her - the 1200 miles between us and my own anger kept me from saying anything except "you're entitled to feel this way."  This team has a lot to overcome and I'm not just talking about that piss poor performance last night. 

That said - Vicki's texts to me today ranged from:

"In a fine display of maturity, I refuse to wear my Wild sweatshirt today, even though I planned on it."

to:

"OK, Truth here - I'm still going to be excited if we win tonight.  Does that make me lame?"

Me: "Makes you drunk."

Vicki: "True Story." 
Drinking Red Wine animated emoticon

I love my hockey partner

Wild at Colorado with EVERYTHING on the line -

Parise deposits the puck for a 1-0 lead and I open a bottle of Reisling, screw-cap style.  Not wasting the good shit on this game.  Although I have to say Relax Reisling is not too shabby.  Half way through the first period and the Wild are owning the Avs.  It should be noted that Columbus and Nashville are tied 0-0 after their first period.  Varlamov is coming up big for the Avs in goal as MN puts shot after shot on net.  Then, just before the first period ends the Avs score and I drink a glass of wine. In one gulp.

Tuning into the Jackets/Preds game and see Shea Weber score on 'Lumbus (#Lumbus for you tweeters).  So far, so good.  Refill the wine glass.  Wonder if there's chocolate in the house?  Switch over to the Wings/Stars game and see Wings leading 1-0 in their second period.  Put a hold on chocolate search for now.

Second period for Wild/Avs and the Avs have come out swinging.  MN does not show up, nothing new here.  Scrambling in our zone and the Avs appear to score.  I say appear to score because as I was finsihing my second glass of wine the goal goes under review.  It's disallowed and the Wild dodge a HUGE bullet there.  Kobasew.  I see what you did there.  Where did I put the pretzel M&M's??  Wild wake up and decide to play defensive hockey.  It gets them the first power play of the game.  Holy extended pressure, Bettman - Wild actually score on a power play!  Seto launches a rocket past Varlamov.  Wild up 2-1.  Wings up 3-0 over Dallas in their third period.  Preds still up 1-0 over 'Lumbus.  Bottle of Reisling down 3 glasses and there's lots of hockey left at the Pepsi Center.

Found the chocolate and pulled the second bottle of wine.  Columbus tied the Preds 1-1.  Opened second bottle of wine while stuffing chocolate in face.  Eye twitch starting.  Jackets go up 2-1 just before the start of Wild third period.  Screw the glass, drinking straight from the wine bottle.  Wild responsible for their own destiny now as Detroit won their game and the Jackets did as well.  We are fucked.  I need to be numb to get through the rest of this game.  Half way through the third period and the Wild have ZERO shots on goal.  Just kill me now.  Avs have small meltdown and Wild get 5-3 PP for 55 seconds - which was a huge waste of time since we didn't convert.  Good thing I'm not wasting time on the second bottle of wine - halfway done.  Starting to not care about my eye twitch.  Wild doing everything in their power to lose this game and Backstrom is the only one keeping them in it.  He should just start whacking away at his team mates.  Maybe they'd get the fucking message: CLEAR THE ZONE!  

1:42 left...Backstrom again with a HUGE save while everyone else just stands around picking their noses. 

1:39 left...Avs use their time out and then pull their goalie for the extra man.  I pull the wine bottle into my lap because I need something to hold onto.  My hockey partner is 1200 miles away. 

90 seconds left...can barely watch this game wind down.  Peeking through my fingers covering my eyes.  Epic battles continue in front of Backstrom. 

Bouchard struggles to stuff the puck in an EMPTY NET but finally gets the job done and

OMG WE'RE IN THE FRIGGIN' PLAYOFFS!!! 

3rd Star: Suter with 32:54 minutes of ice time, +2
2nd Star: Seto with the GWG on the power play in the second period
1st Star: Backstrom for standing tall while his team mates screwed around.

Tweet of the Night:
"Zucker just clobbered Zanon on the forecheck. Zanon's beard took the brunt of it"— Michael Russo (@Russostrib) April 28, 2013

Text of the Night:
"Chicago better watch out...this is a team on a roll.  Wait a minute...that's one win in a row..."  Coach Daggett

And just to get you in the mood for playoff hockey -

 


 

Friday, April 26, 2013

Triple Threat

1. Anger
2. Disappointment
3. Shot glass filled with Patron

These three things probably make for one very good reason NOT to blog about your hockey team doing it's very best to lose their last hope for making the playoffs - for the first time since 2008.  In the absolute WORST outing of this season, and that's saying something when you think about some of the craptastic games they've played prior to tonight, the Wild managed to skate themselves into a very dark corner.  They have nobody to blame but themselves.  The consistently inconsistent play they've employed up to this point has put them exactly where they deserve to be: embarrassed and desolate.

It should be noted that the Wild are consistent at one thing:
PLAYING DOWN TO OR BELOW THE LEVEL OF THE SHITTIEST TEAMS IN THE LEAGUE.  The history and stats speak for themselves on this. 

Backstrom was pulled after giving up 3 goals on the first 5 shots the Oilers tossed at him.  He was never even in the game, period.  He looked totally PISSED when the camera showed him sitting on the bench.  Well, you're a sieve from time to time, Backs.  It's the truth.  It happens to every goalie, good or bad, and there's no telling when it's coming your way.  Of course it happens to Backstrom when his Dmen couldn't stop a puck from getting past a brick wall and his forwards couldn't put a puck in the Grand Canyon.  Never a good combo.

Poor Josh Harding didn't fair any better.  He went in the net as 19,990 fans jeered Backs off the ice.  Josh let in 3 more goals.  The camera showed Parise looking like he wished he'd never signed here.  The team got booed off the ice a full 30 seconds before the buzzer sounded the end of the second period.

A moment of recognition for Khabibulin - Still the Bhulin Wall, my hockey friends.  This guy made it look like the Wild were tossing beach balls his way.  The Wild actually outshot the Oilers, tossing 39 of said beach balls at Khabibulin compared to the minimalistic 17 shots our goaltending tandem faced.  Doesn't make it any easier to accept the kind of game we endured.   

A moment of recognition for those Wild players who did generate some pretty drives to the ozone and pressured Khabibulin.  Cullen, Clutterbuck, Setoguchi really brought the effort at times.  Turnovers and the inability to clear our zone negated those efforts as much as the Oilers goaltender did all on his own.      

Third period showed a Wild team on the bench that wouldn't even look at each other.  Yeo was playing cheerleader, which irritates the shit out of me.  Grow a pair of balls and start spewing fire at these guys.  There were a few really good efforts to gain the zone and pepper Khabi and yes, one puck FINALLY went in so, no shut out.  Small consolation for the crowd at the last home game of the season.  Nobody in the stands stood and cheered. 

Yeo did grow a spine late in the period, but spent the energy yelling at somebody on the Oilers bench instead turning that anger on his players who really deserved it.  Mike's patented response of "looking forward, not looking back" is getting old.  He's got one more game before he's quite possibly looking forward to golfing, for a living.  Seriously, who's going to be on the chopping block if the Wild drop from having been the sixth seed to not even going to the dance?  It ain't gonna be Parise or Suter, that's for damn sure. 

Via Russo's Rants let's look at how the Wild have royally cocked it up tonight:

--Wild goes 2-0 and San Jose loses in regulation tomorrow at Los Angeles, and the Wild finishes sixth and plays Vancouver.

--Wild goes 2-0 and San Jose gets a point, the Wild finishes seventh and plays Anaheim

--Wild goes 1-1 (regulation, overtime or shootout win) and Detroit loses at Dallas Saturday in regulation, overtime or shootout), the Wild finishes seventh because of tiebreaker.

--Wild goes 1-1 and Detroit beats Dallas, the Wild finishes eighth.

--Wild goes 0-2 and Columbus loses in regulation to Nashville Saturday, the Wild finishes eighth.

--Wild goes 0-2 and Columbus gets a point Saturday, Wild is eliminated.

Note to the idiots who are the hockey broadcasters on FSN: This is EXACTLY what is known as Backing Into The Playoffs. 
Standing there telling me the Wild DESERVE to be "here" (the playoffs) because they've EARNED it. 
Yep, the Wild certainly deserve to be looking at the ass end of things.  Their INCONSISTENT play and now also having to depend on other teams to lose absolutely put them where they're deserve to be - on the verge of being out of the playoffs with just one game remaining in the regular season.

Tomorrow - when the light of day comes and the Patron has worn off - I'll write about something happy.  Playoff Hockey.  It's the best hockey around.  Even if your team may not be in it, AGAIN.          

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

The End Of My Hiatus

Yeah, yeah, yeah...I've been missing in action.  All is well, no worries.  Busy with the job, studying, taking a few road trips and watching hockey.  It's been suggested that I kick the twitter account into high gear and start tweeting during games instead of texting in order to reach the wider audience, not just a select few.  I'll contemplate that.  In the meantime, let's get this party started.

Happy Birthday to the busiest hockey mom out there - Mom Daggett!
 


Hockey, Bitches!
Well, what more is there to say about the Wild than INCONSISTENCY.  Why, after 13 years, should anything change?  Instead of breathing easy with a playoff berth cinched we're still biting our nails over every game.  We piss away games and the higher seeding while teams below us have been playing their hearts out, inching their way up to knock us down to the final seed.  Living on the edge, that's how we roll in MN.  I just really want to see the Wild stay in a solid playoff seed and not end up clinging to the 8th seed by virtue of another team not winning their last game, in the last seconds of regulation. 

IRON HORSE
There's no mistaking Suter is a bonafide STUD.  I can hardly believe he's one of us.  The only down side is that we rely on him sooo much and it's become very clear that he's hurt.  Hopefully he can rub some dirt on it and continue to play.  You know, like Brunette used to do on a totally shredded knee.  Not that I advocate playing hurt, but we're fucked if Ryan goes down at this point.  Sorry, that's the simple truth.

LEAKY BLUE LINE
Yep, despite having Suter out there for over half of each game our defense really kinda sucks.  Brodin (aka Suter 2.0) is a Stud-In-The-Making but he's still just a baby and again, if Suter - his mentor and D partner - goes down there's really nobody to fill that hole.  Spurge is solid and plays big but he is a small guy and let's face it - he's no Suter.  Then there's Prosser - um, well he's from MN so there's that, right?  Yes, he's effective more often than not but he's not Suter or Brodin.  Next there's Tom Gilbert who is falling from grace almost as fast as Stoner.  Oh wait, NOBODY has fallen from grace faster than Stoner.  Anybody even remember that we have a D guy named Justin Falk?  Didn't think so.  And who is this Brett Clark guy and why did we get him?

HOME BOY DOES GOOD
Who else would I be talking about - Zach Parise.  He's an experienced/certified NHL star.  And he's ours, all ours.  Mikko Koivu wears the C but it's become clear that Zach is the captain of this team.  From his play to his practice habits to his ability to call himself and his team mates out after a shitty game, this guy is the leader.  Zach is the first to give credit to a linemate and to talk about the importance of working as a team.  Somebody tell the trainers to encase Zach in bubble wrap after each game from here on out.  No sense taking any chances, right? 

THE REST OF THE GUYS 
Mikko, the team's actual captain, is finding his game with much of the spotlight off of him and pointing elsewhere.  It seems to me that Mikko is relaxing and just playing hockey, which is to say that he's excelling without having to shoulder the captaincy all on his own.  Even his interviews are not painful to listen to these days - a sign of someone who's becoming comfortable in his own skin. 
The loss of the Fuckin' All Star hurts, not gonna sugar coat that one at all.  As much crap as I give Dany on a number of levels I know what he brings to the team and we're already feeling his absence.         
Speaking of absence - we needed Cullen back and how.  I haven't been the biggest fan of Matt in seasons past but this guy just never quits, on himself or the team.  That's something you can't buy or teach.  His in-game mentoring of Zucker is just one example of why he's a leader on and off the ice.  He basically told himself he needed to prove his worth to Fletcher and then went out and did it.  Matt finds a way to get the puck on the net or to a line mate who's near the net almost every shift.  Hard to imagine Fletcher won't be trying to make a contract happen for Cullen this summer.   
Setoguchi is nothing, or very little, without Cullen.  Reminds me of the whole Gaborik/Demitra combo - no disrespect for Pavel, RIP.  Much disrespect for Gaborik.  Players need to make things happen, regardless of who their line partner is.  See Ryan Suter for example.  Much was made of how Shea Weber made Ryan who he is.  Well, we all know how that's worked out.
Bouchard - love your accent, hate your hockey play - or lack thereof.  Seems the only time Butch shows up on the ice is when Zucker is here trying to take his spot in the lineup. 
Brodziak, Mitchell and Clutterbuck - WAKE UP!  C'mon guys, you're the lunchpailers, the grinders, the shutdown guys.  Get back to making the other team cough up the puck because you're all up in their shit. 
Hard to mention the Wild's youth movement without automatically thinking of Granlund, Coyle and Zucker.  I'm a little concerned about Granlund but it's VERY early in his NHL career so there's plenty of time to see him develop.  Charlie Coyle - the REAL value of the Burns trade and the reason I squealed like a teenage girl at the draft, just ask Tim.  Coyle, like Brodin, seems to ooze natural hockey ability.  Zucker is a natural scorer.  He needs some work on his all-around game, but hey - what youngster doesn't?  These three kids are the Wild's future and boy are they bright. 
Konopka.  What can I say about Konopka?  He has a pet bunny, named Hoppy.  That endears him to me from the "awww, that's sweet" side of things.  He's good at getting under the skin of our opponents and that's his job.  He's the first one to hold the other team accountable for having harmed or even thought about harming one of our guys.  Zenon has made some nifty contributions on ice besides using his fists.  I think the local media has made a bigger case for Konopka's hockey skills than is warranted.  This is my opinion and this is my blog so neener, neener, neener.
Rupp - always in the wrong place at the wrong time in terms of taking penalties.  I mean REALLY stupid penalties which almost always end up with the other team scoring while he's in the box.  See above mention of over-hype by local media regarding his value as something other than a thug.  Again, my blog - so there. 

Niklas Backstrom - Work Horse Extraordinaire 
Night in, night out Nik's been just short of stellar.  He's HAD to be.  With zero to 1 goals from the team in front of him on most nights lately, it's all been on his shoulders.  He's mostly been in his place of zen and peace.  He has his moments but what goalie hasn't?  When it's not your night, it's not your night.  All will be well once Josh Harding gets through his conditioning stint in Houston and can return to the Wild in order to give Backstrom a well deserved night off...once in a while.  I just wish Nik wasn't prone to sucking at the shoot out. 

EVERYBODY DRINK!
Jason Pomenville is the latest addition to the Wild and boy has he made a prompt and positive impact.  And not just on the ice with his assists and goals like he's some kind of assist and goal machine, cuz he is.  Jason is responsible for my latest Wild drinking game involving taking a shot whenever a player's name is mentioned.  I'm sure Jason took a lot of crap about his name while growing up.  If he didn't, then it's about to start now cuz I've renamed him POMMERDOODLE.  Someone suggested pommerschnoodle but nah, I'm sticking with Pommerdoodle.  I thought I would pass out when we drank every time SPURGE scored or assisted.  POMMERDOODLE will likely be the end of my liver as I know it.  It's a sacrifice I'm ready to make on behalf of my team.  Go Wild!  Go Pommerdoodle!