End Results

All's Well That Ends Well 
Dog owners and 9 year old boys at heart will appreciate this...
So, for whatever reason Buster's been a little backed up the last two days.  Since I hold the title of Poop Patroller, I notice these things.  In the interest of moving things along I gave him a fresh beef bone last night after dinner to see if the richness of the marrow would help.  Buster was a happy dog, noisily grinding on that bone for 3 hours straight.


No results during the last potty call before retiring for the night which didn't alarm me too much.  Still nothing brewing this morning as I stood outside in the -3 degree temperature at 6:30 a.m., except the mental note in my head that I should have taken care of business myself, before standing outside in -3 degree weather waiting for the dog to do his business.


I load Buster into the truck after breakfast and off the park we go for our daily walk.  Buster excitedly bounds up the path and then back to me making sure none of my joints had frozen solid and was his usual happy-to-be-outside dog.  Typically, a good run gets things moving for Buster but still nothing for me to bag up and deposit into the garbage can as we exited the park.  I'm a little concerned and decide that I'll call the vet from home once my nose stops running and I can feel my fingers enough to dial.


Back home, I'm sitting at the table with the phone in hand - Buster's curled up to the right of my chair working on the bone from last night.  All of a sudden there's an audible signal from his rear end...and I do mean AUDIBLE.  And a good 5 seconds in length - long enough for me to realize that he's actually farting out loud (not me, really) and to see his complete surprise at his butt's ability to do that.  Buster jumped to his feet and started turning circles while barking at his butt,  pretty much the same way he barks at sounds he thinks he hears outside when there's nothing there but he needs to show me he's The Defender Of The Realm.   


Taking this a sign of things to come I quickly headed for downstairs with Buster in the lead.  We barely made it to the back yard in time.  On this day I am thankful for below zero temperatures so that what is now liquid will be a solid mass later for easier disposal, 'nuff said.


Buster is fine, no ill or lingering effects.  He's napping in a patch of sun on the living room floor now completely relieved, physically and figuratively speaking.  I'm relieved as well to have been home for this episode - ugh, I don't even want to think about what could have been... buy hey, everything worked out in the end, right?  ;)

End of Days
That's it folks, wrap it up.  The holidays are over.  Okay, there's Epiphany on Thursday this week for you Traditionalists out there but after that there's really no excuse for getting the house back to normal.  Get that dried up crispy Christmas tree out the door in time for the garbage collection this week.  It's a fire hazard.  It has been for at least a week now.  Admit it.  You stopped watering it before Christmas Eve, didn't you?  Turn those outside holiday lights off, especially the hideous blue ones...WTF does blue have to do with Christmas??  

The kids are back in school, already whining about how long it will be until their next day off, which will still come sooner than your next company paid holiday.  All you're left with now are stale Christmas cookies and the visa bill due by the 15th.  Happy...Merry...wait, nothing until Memorial day weekend: 5 months and 6 days from now.  Looking at the 3 foot snow drift on my deck really drives that point home.  
Makes you think about...